i forgave and waited
and waited
and waited
for a change
there was no change
just disappointment
so i told myself to believe
believe in the one who hurt me the most
and try again to forgive them
stupid me
stupid me
i did it anyway
i forgave
never got an apology
an explanation
or a change
im done forgiving
i may sound cold
heartless
brutal
but how can you be
happy
enthused
and whole
when youre
broken
weak
and disappointed
now im disappointed
but i refuse to forgive any longer
i forgave and waited

“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds.

Cruel words and shattered souls,
Everyone has turned me cold.
You wonder why I'm still smiling
Haven't you thought that maybe I'm dying?

Dying mind, dying heart,
Dying spirit, always far,
Far from people who do not care,
Far from you, gone with the air.

Whispered lies, hopeful dreams,
Everything was not as it seemed.
Hope that used to live and thrive
But now that hope has gone to die.

Maybe they are right.
Maybe there once was a light.
But for now I'm on the run
Running, running, to find the sun.

I'm not weak, but maybe I'm right.
I'm not a quitter, I will fight.

I sing for you my friend
Be safe, be strong, be all you are and more
You are beautiful
You are special
You are loved
I know you are troubled
You’ve got personal trials
Your inner fights
Your own battles
I’ve heard you say, “I’m ugly”
I’ve heard you say, “I’m nothing special”
I’ve heard you ask, “Why do you love me?”
I know I've said the same
But you are beautiful, inside and out
From your skin to your heart
But you are the most special person to me
For I trust you as a best friend
But you deserve love as no one else, and as all do
Since you are you and no other
So listen to this song and know you’ve always got
My shoulder to cry on
My hand to hold
My everything to be
I love you with an intense fiery passion
The flame’s color only dependent
On our relationship
Best friends, you burn yellow as sun and lemon and sand
Old friends, you burn orange as citrus and rust and balloons
Romantic friends, you burn red as blood and apples and flowers
The comedic and entertained, you burn green as grass and words and ether
The sad and most troubled, you burn purple as violets and poison and art
And the ones I love most? You burn blue-white, the hottest flame of all
The blue-white of shells and ice and sky
So to my friends all:
Know this and hear my song
You are beautifully stunningly gorgeous
You are more special than the stars you wish on
You are more loved than I can ever say
To me you are everything
Love and Laughter
Food and Drink
Breathe and Life

What if our tears of loneliness
fell from our wet cheeks
and met at our chin
to make each other whole?