i.
every night
before i sleep
i pray that tomorrow’s forecast
will be cloudy.
you know,
when the sky is a clear blue
it’s most painful for me
because it reminds me
too much of your eyes

ii.
our love was not illicit
but you sure as hell made it feel that way
when you touched me like i was paraphernalia
and not person

iii.
i’m beginning to think
that i was some sort of mental illness
in your mind
because you never mentioned me
to other people

iv.
you know that feeling
when you can't remember
if something actually happened
or you just dreamed it?
that's what it felt like
the first time you said you loved me

v.
when you promised me the world
i shouldn’t have expected anything more
than a miniature globe

vi.
math always told me
that two negatives
make a positive
but i think
the two of us
may have proved
that theory wrong

vii.
i hope the sky
is not as clearly blue
as i am tomorrow

The saddest thing is that every boy that I have ever opened up to or trusted has unintentionally taken a piece from me. And now Im slowly but surely a wreckage that passing cars slow down to stare at. Wondering when the rescue team will arrive and where they will even begin. It kills to feel more like  a possession than a person.
*-3am Thoughts by KP

They say life imitates art, but what happens when art starts to imitate life?

We were taught at a young age to have someone to look up to.
                                    Role Models the called them.
But now at the age of 17 I recognize that kids are raising kids and the blind are just leading the blind.
                               What happened to our role models?  
Smiles are being replaced by broken hearts, and kids are beginning to think its okay to cry yourself to sleep every night.
                                          What is a role model?
Smiles, laughs, hugs, kisses! Smiles laughs, hugs, kisses.  Smiles laughs hugs kisses? Our laughs are being replaced by equations that we will maybe need to know to program our kids to smile laugh hug and kiss. This shouldn't be programmed into us it should just exist.
My neighbor. She's 13 and I havent seen her smile in a while. The kids at school think she's lucky and rich but little do they know she's been broken for a while.

Broken smile broken kiss brokenhearted and then a broken wrist. Its the way society is telling us to be.

At the age 9 I learned how to cook me and my family dinner. At age 11 i cooked all the dinners, but it was usually just me and  my brother at the table. We didn't try to understand what was happening because it was happening to all of our friends too, I said “hey its okay this is what families do.”
                                     Art isn't suppose to imitate life.
As I got older running from the cops became normal on Friday nights because there was simply no where to go.  When I turned 16 I was satisfied when my parents stopped asking me who I was going out with and where I would go . I was happy I thought they trusted me but I soon learned that if I told them who my friends were would they even know.

Things changing happening around me my body is stuck in pause but the world is in forwards.  My brother calling the Nanny mom, my mom firing the nanny, my mom quitting her job to be mom. Thats not mom thats the Nanny. where is my mom?
                                     Art is not suppose to imitate life.
Broken households, broken children your dad didn't get to come to your dance show. Working Working Working “i have to pay bills” working working working.
                         ** what happens when life stops imitating art?

ive written over 8 poems this month.
im afraid to share every single one

its 2:15am and I am sitting alone in a dark room. And finally I am not thinking about you

I sleep too much
But when I sleep
I dream
Oh, such dreams

I dream too much
But when I dream
I feel
Oh, how I feel

I feel as if everything
That I need, that I yearn for
That I so desperately crave
Is in my dreams

So I sleep
And I dream
And when I dream
I am happy