I feel it when it’s beginning sometimes slowly sometimes in a rush,
Never prepared as the walls break and then the gush.

Heart beat racing, out of breath, mind a blur.
I whisper we’re safe but my body does not concur.

Not even sure what started the fear and anxiety. But my skin is crawling and i can’t breathe.

Focus, connect with what is real. What can you see, hear, and feel?

Regulate your breathing, calm your heart, let the tremors subside hit pause then restart.

Too much sound, and Too much to take in.
One step at a time control is very thin.

My heart is still to fast but the day doesn’t stop. Like Holding a ball under water hoping it doesn’t pop.

Once upon a time-
Begins in parallel life
The story of love
Not completely true
But not without its value
That halts because internal worth
Is measured by different meters.

And time was of the essence.
Yet time lingered in flesh
Vivid gift of memory  
Sweet sweat trickled down her back
Cradling his head in her lap.

When time again began,
Light shone through cracks
in the perfection.

One, occupied by burdensome things,  
Constrained.
Unready for change,
Overwhelming helter-skelter.

The other, craved a mention
Between chaotic interventions,
And, possibly a promise-
A hope for more than
“A day at a time.”

Passion turning languid,
Green-eyed-monsters birthed.
Words unspoken swallowed,
And spit out in garbled tongue.

Led to the perfect storm
of a time whence upon
Two lovers grew apart
But couldn’t part.

So they lived and loved
in parallel dimensions
Never forgetting.
Never regretting.

My heart races
My throat gets tighter
Now I can't say no
My eye brows furrow
And you think I like it
But tears drip slowly
From my eyes
My body trembles
And blood trickles
Down my thighs

How much
Have I lost
To a man
A man with his arms
That hold me down
A man with his hands
That choke me out
A man with his d*ck
That ends my life as I knew it

I can write about love,
About all the sweet things that can happen,
A hallmark movie,
A romance novel,
A poet who has just fallen for the love of his life.

But that's not what love did for me,
Love left me broken,
Love left me without looking back,
Love showed me that although I gave my everything,
It still wasn't enough,

But love also showed me how love can be found in the most quiet and hidden places,
That it doesn't have to be a relationship to show you what love is,

Love is in friends who give you a gift basket after a bad break up to help cheer you up,
Love is in friends who make sure that you've eaten and that you're doing okay,
Love is in friends who make you laugh so hard that your abs start to hurt and your eyes are watery with joy,

Love is an all things,
And while some love may not be available to us,
That doesn't mean that we are unlovable,
It just means that sometimes the love you seek,
Is found in places that you never knew were there.