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(a throwback poem from High school)

I'm the most popular girl in my homeroom.
Of course, that's my own bedroom -
cause we're on COVID lockdown, zoom.

My bedroom is the math class, which doubles as the gym,
it triples as the theater - you should see the shows I'm in.

They're only in my mirror, so my cats get free admission.
My sudden popularity's due, to a matter of attrition.

If I play my cards right, I can probably be prom queen
I'll hold the ceremony in the garden, so the travesty goes unseen.
a throwback poem from High school
It’s a little complicated - what isn’t? But my plans have changed (again).
Under some pressure - but not really - I was able to switch schools.
From Johns Hopkins university to the Université Paris Cité.
No doubt, the Hopkins acceptance helped.
It’s like when you have a boyfriend - how the other boys suddenly find you more attractive?

There was a comment someone made here, SbySW, I think - he said,
“No more early jogs in Baltimore,” (as in danger-city) and that was a tumbler for me - I started checking and, yeah, Baltimore is very.. Baltimore-ish. Then my little mind started grinding.

‘If I’m already switching schools and since Peter (my bf) is still ‘stuck’ in Geneva.. Isn’t Paris closer?
TRIGGER WARNING  
So, here’s where the 'nepo baby' magic happens.
I called my Grandmère. ring.ring
“Umm, I’m thinking the Université Paris Cité might be better than Baltimore.. Is that CrAzY?”
After a moment's silence, Grandmère said,
“Can you forward me your Hopkins acceptance letter?”

And thirty minutes later (9pm Paris time, mind you), I got a call from Université Paris Cité admissions. I’m in. The program starts September 1st.
Then François, one of my Grandmère’s corporate minions called and said:
"Johns Hopkins appreciated the quick notice.
The movers will be there, for you and Charles @ 9am tomorrow morning.
Your flight (to Paris) leaves @ 9:22pm tomorrow night..
Your TSA PreChecks, and Global Entry passes are complete.
I mailed you your flight passes and "Imagine'R" (unlimited Paris travel) cards. A car will be waiting when you arrive.”
François doesn't mess around.

I looked at my watch, it was 2:45 in the afternoon.
****, I need to tell Charles we're moving to Paris tomorrow.

Yes, I exist in a charmed circle - if you discount the contentiousness of the choice - my Mom’s now mad at me and my sister’s not too happy 
- I’m totes charmed.
Of course, the Hopkins acceptance (and the full-ride scholarship I declined) will now pass on to another lucky student.

Sometimes what you want
is lurking in the shadows
just out of reach - do you dare disclose it -
risk exposing it, when some might oppose it?

The bible says “Ask and you shall receive.”
In real life, that may require more than belief,
if your secret wishes, you are to achieve.
.
.
Songs for this:
Give Paris One More Chance by Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers
The Paris Match (feat. Tracey Thorn) by The Style Council
Nostalgie Du Voyage by Tape Five
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge 08/05/25: ​​
Contentious: likely to cause arguments and disagreements

*I was offered full-ride scholarships to Yale, Harvard and Johns Hopkins but I never accept their money - I don’t want it - let someone who needs it have it.
.
Fun fact: Med school tuition, 4 years:
Johns Hopkins ……………… $266,000
Université Paris Cité ………..… $1,400
Yes, you read that right.
You wanted me to lose myself in you                                                              ­      but  that was because you needed my strength too                                   Couldn't  stand on your own for too long                                                making up the rules as you dragged me along                                      Down  playing my sacrifices, my self-worth                                             making  sure  my life was hell on earth                                                            ­Then  you used that instilled insecurity                                                to  feed  your sense of grandiosity                                                      ­                 You  were an accomplished liar                                                             ­my  heart and soul under direct fire                                        but  luckily  you always treated me                                                               ­     like  I was nothing more than your Plan B                                                    To  be used and then discarded                                                        ­            your  love isn't for the fainthearted
Love with a narcissist. One sided, painful, unfulfilling.
Today I am broken,
But I am still the person I came as.
I am still strong and I still have strength left to give,
I know you liked to see me crumbling apart,
Left in ruins while trying to find my beating heart.
At least it’s how I felt,
Today is a better day than any to grow a little more.
To repair and replace,
As I rebuild the castle inside of me.
We all need someone to make us believe.
-Adidas Sportswear
My someone is here for the summer before he leaves for school again. Without talking with him daily over the phone and hanging out I think I’d be in a much worse place. You’re first seat material buddy!
I've no money
but can write poetry
despite  owning very little
I'm totally happy

if I were to
have money
but can't write poetry
that would be my misery

so I conclude --happily:
between being wealthy
and writing poetry
the latter I'll celebrate fully!
We're born, we live, we die.
That's called life. What is life
about? For so many, it's just
about survival. For a tiny number,
it is about acquisition of things.
For the blessed, it is about love--
love of self, love of another,
love of all. I wrote once that
the greatest thing you can ever
be is your real self. To be true to
your real self is to be true to all
others, true to the Cosmos.
Fame is a social cosmetic.
Wealth is unconscious com-
pensation for lack of self-love
and thus for lack of love for
others;  political power much
the same. Leadership is an
amalgam of real power, self-
love and love of others, and
the courage to do the right
thing. It is uncommon and
precious. To live your life
fully, you must be fully
your real self.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS
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