If you are uncomfortable when you look in the mirror,
keep in mind:
We spent thousands of years
trying to convince the earth
she was flat.

We wrote her maps as evidence of the things we saw;
and she believed them.
She cried tsunamis, and had earthquake breakdowns.

Keep in mind: the Sun never gave up hope.
The earth will keep spinning and breathing
the star-dusty space void of encouragement.

Next time you look in the mirror
and second-guess your potential divinity,
remember you will keep shining and living.

Because the Sun is out there
believing in you,
compensating for lack of the human capacity
to treat each other empathically.

You don’t need proof or approval
to be exactly what you are;
Eventually everyone will see
your infinite beauty.

If only we could understand ourselves, the world around would make much  sense.
It all begins with me.

its strange to hold shame for such things:
desire, hunger, pain, my name,

having a body that holds a brain

I hate it when someone
Who doesn't know me judges me
The way I present myself
Is because of the way society
Has treated me
It has ruined me and destroyed everything

Do you know I'm a caged bird too scared to sing
A bee too scared to sting
A human being too scared to blink
Cause I'm too scared I'll lose everything

Do you know I have no family or friends
No one to confide in or to hold my hand
No one to wipe my tears when I cry
Or when I'm down to lift me up to the sky

Do you know the pain I go through
Every single day
Do you know how my heart aches
Because my sadness never takes a break

No one in my life has ever asked me if I'm okay
But I stand here tall and say
I'll be fine in the end
That's how strong you have to be when you have no friend

I guess you wouldn't see this everyday
A 43 year old man writing in a diary
But hell what other choice do I have
See a shrink
Talk my problems out

So I'll give you the details
My names Karl 43 yrs old
Divorced 5 times
7 children I barely get to see
Kids mothers think I have manic depression
Judges took my supervised visitation rights away
Because I had a mental breakdown
Ended up in the psych-ward for a month
I'm working three jobs
Little Ceasers, Raising Canes, and a handyman
I'm living in my moms basement
Paying rent out the ***
Even though I'm barely here
You tell me if I've had it rough
My dad drank himself to death
Beating my mother and me
My older brother died during service
My younger sister is a crack fiend
And I've spent more money on her
To stay in rehab than I have on clothes
For both me and my kids
I've been recently cutting
I saw my oldest do it
When I confronted him
He said it relieved the pain
He was right
Still feels wrong
I just wonder when enough is enough
When you finally give up
I've been a devoted Christian
Yet I've never seen the end of it
The constant pain
The endless torture of reality
Hell would be my heaven right now
I have no friends
I don't have a single clue
Where my life went to
But I'm sure it's heading nowhere fast
Thought about ending it
But the picture of me and my kids
Always seems to stop me cold
I just wish I could say I'm sorry
That I wish I could be a better father
A more devoted husband
But how can I do any of that
When the woman I've been with
Only wanted my wallet more than my heart
I don't even remember the smell of cologne
I guess I'm just rambling
But how old do you need to be
To die from a broken heart

I could see it at last
The wickedness in your smiles
After all these years...
You finally revealed your true colors
Burn your sheep's clothing
You're the bad bad wolf
The devil inside of you
Does not deserve any kindness
Or mercy...
I would **** you if i could
I would hang you upside down
I would do anything to torture you..
You deserve this cruel treatment
For your art of mockery
Your love a total lie..
Your love was nothing but a joke
Wonder how you did it...
To turn sweet love into blatant lies?

the last few nights
i've been writing
frightened
trying to decide
what's right
in my mind
but i'm blinded
by this time
this time
this space
it doesn't make sense to me
to erase you
while
you replace me
i've never felt so empty
as i do
right now
reaching out to you
and knowing you
don't want it
i'm being selfish
i can't accept this
and pounding my head
against this table
why do i torture myself
when she doesn't want me

In my search for YOU
I want to lose myself...