An arm reaches up towards the sky,
Am I to believe it's mine?

The ceiling shifts under an unyielding stare,
Am I to look away unquestioningly?

If all there is to mange is a consciousness,
Am I to believe I'm stable?

The midnight's so dark these days,
Where's the stars to guide me?

Guide me.

Guide me.

Guide me somewhere.

Guide me.

Guide me.

Guide me somewhere.

Can't step foot outside this forest,
Am I to believe I'm loveable?

Love me.

Love me.

Love me somehow.

Love me.

Love me.

With everything that's been given,
Am I to reclaim what's left behind?

Left me.

Left me.

Left me somewhere.

Left me.

Left me.

Dull and hardened after the war,
Won't find solace at a dive bar,
Lock me up and crash the car,
I hate who I am thus far.

The midnight's so dark these days,
Where's the stars to guide me?

Guide me.

Guide me.

Guide me somewhere.

Guide me.

Guide me.

Guide me somewhere,
So I can die anywhere,
Anywhere but here.
Don't want to die here.

The flash reveals a ghost.
She stands in the present,
a figure from the past.
You can feel the future inside of her
yearning to be the now.
But it is not his time just yet.

useless knowledge
reflective ceiling
guys who park their bikes here  
never feel anything
i wish that were me
and i wish that were on me
the bike shed stares back
he’s not looking at me

"AHHHHH...IS IT...YER SELF THAT'S...IN IT?

here I am
thin now fat then
thin again

here the hair
short now long then long
in the long long ago

the same features
scattered across time
sticky-out ears...bulgy eyes...

curly hair
only the eyes change
( and remain the same ).


still the sad shy smile
flickers across
the ages

here I am
almost
handsome

her I am
my usual not
always the same laugh

the photographs
play with me
change and amend me

shuffle me through years
tears...different me's
me's I never knew I'd be

I smile my
by now
characteristic smile

laugh my laugh
that is my own
and no others

I've a feeling that
the photographs
haven't yet

finished with me
that there will be
lots more me to come

I close the album
put myself back
on the shelf

get on with the
business of being
my self


*

Being punctuated is a fierce painful business altogher...I remembered being full stopped and clare ta God but wasn't I in a coma for weeks on end. I was then locked up in brackets for another week and all my quotation marks taken away from me so I could hardly speak at all. Then I was given a life sentence to be my self for the rest of my life.

Too many Dónalls spoil the broth of a boy...joining the dots of me...painting by numbers the me of I.

My little lover,
Honed steel wielded to my flesh
As your hands restrict
Mar my skin,
I implore

My little lover,
I beseech my lifes water
To know the folds of your tongue
To ******* lineage
After it has bred with your saliva

Oh my little lover,
Not all is of sword unto sheath
Though your seed could flood my gardens;
Not all is of drowning
Or of blooming

Oh God,
My little lover
I beg for that which is wielded
To whiten my flesh
In the silhouette of your name

To your skin,
I write a thousand sonnets;
She recalls the rain.

To your smell,
I sigh a hundred ancient songs;
She sticks to me like toffee.

And oh,
To your eyes ...
To drown in silt stardust,
To smother in her hues.

To your hands,
I bow in thorns and roses;
She's grasped flesh and bone.

To your lips,
I grow ten dozen lilacs;
She carries the taste of your breath.

And oh,
To your voice ...
To asphyxiate in words,
To choke in her cadence.

And just as your veins will be empty of blood seven decades from now,
The tender love is fleeting.

But the rain still falls,
And the bones remain.

Where is my window ?
I need the
wind to blow &
take me with it

flip me over like a
Beetle

where to end or
when to begin

I’m begging in poetry
to let me in on it

another
heedless nightcap
Send me to my dreams soon

Or
give me to the girl at the bookstore
Like a scented letter

but, send me to my dreams soon
I can’t have anything
else tonight

I’m waiting
Wanting to swim in the mouth of Summer
I’m waiting

**** out the roots too
pull everything out like you mean it
Return me to space
or wherever I was before this
Return me to my body

I’m ready for sweat
I’m ready for barely

I can’t feel it
but I feel it
Like Deja vu
smells like afternoon & salt
butter it up
stay awake tonight

I’ve been reading this book
the entire time
I’ll underline it for you

Tell me everything you haven’t yet
and I’ll kiss it quietly
be my weekend & my Wednesday

shut me up with another one
still & stuck
do me a favor and
don’t do me any

keep me like a charm
it’s going to taste so much better
warm

wake me up
snoozed another good-morning
tried my own head
like purple
crashed every inch of skin -
how I want it
it’s Wednesday babe
what’s for lunch
what’s for good &
everyone else
How did I move
?
Take me anywhere and I’ll come
take me home & let me melt

It’s another day
a perfect one if you want it

everyone’s waiting on it
I’ve got
Lemonade
I’ve got
All day