where the looming darkness is like searing 50ton gold up against the sun, and the only light is of the moon yet some hides in the hearts of the brave.
only to dance behind the eyes of the innocent.
our sky is not for limitless reaching but for ghosts of memories- tossed over the heads of the hurt. lingering in the air like thick fogs of thunder stinging those who wish to feel.
with each silky wave our seas gray of emotion, step by step its potent.
******* you of all your insecurities and restoring serenity.
we were broken stones unturned in the fields of the weak.
letting fear just dwell..
to a place where emotion is delusional!
because our hearts are cradled by the dark.
emotion is just a seduction of the mind, so we go to a place
where the broken is redeemable
and fragmentary souls mend themselves.
it is only here where the rain cries for the dried eyes
and wraps coldly around the lonely
given a sense of mother to child security.
almost like heaven but not quite there yet.
almost lifeless but you've reached a place..
almost like a different dimension,
something the ignorant would call "rock bottom"  
but I've witnessed the stench of  death the remains
on the gallows dangling like swing sets
because it is not often that the weakened can just stand alone.
i too was a victim of cherry blossom red against silver.
substituting pain for just 2 seconds of a blissful reality.
more accepting of the physical because i could not explain
what my brain was bawling to me.
then i found myself at a place
where it was okay to scream and i could finally breathe
i gave up my old habits when the darkness
started fighting internally.
the a place where my demons could no longer conquer me.

i fumble around in darkness, even during the day
and my faint memory of this place helps me none.
i ask "why did you leave me?"
and you reply the same as always - silence
so i stumble through life feeling for the familiar
nothing ever seems right with out you
pleasantly, you appear to me during dreams yet filling my mind of agony
i grasp a hold onto you every time,
so how is it that i awake from sleep and you still aren't here with me
life seems as if its the Armageddon, because with everyday
my spirit goes astray,
i hear its abandoning footsteps down the hall
like timed grenades synchronized to the beat of my heart.
and yet i feel no distress as it departs,
because see you took the one thing that completes me.
foolishly i sting my finger tips on the sockets
while caressing my way through
so i figure ill turn the tv on
even though showtime is no longer fun with out you.
and to really think about it, you made all the difference
now everything is just different with you gone.
no warning and no goodbye,
i didn't know i could still produce tears with out site
so what do the other 4 mean without number 5?
the lawn mower outside woke me up that morning,
and the grass smelt calm, i could hear so clear the birds soaring through the trees - one at a time
toothpaste never tasted so strong
and though the volume was never changed
there's even a difference in my song.
i can only feel the pictures on the walls,
and it hurts to picture them in my mind at all.
if only i could sleep until time restored you,
but its better to have loved and lost
then to not have had you.
so what is vision?
the end or the beginning?

at first i could feel me slipping from myself
repeatedly reaching out and pulling my spirit back in
rapidly falling through different levels of darkness
experiencing pain i didn't know existed inside me
the more i fell into myself the more lost i became
jagged edges and sandpaper made me prone to it all
and i could no longer feel the fall..