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tinnnafish Sep 2019
I made it clear
I wasn’t looking for anything besides your friendship.
I confided in you and told you my deepest fears and insecurities.
I was vulnerable,weak, and intoxicated
You used this to your advantage
As I stumbled, pushing you way, I tried to say no. Please stop.
You continued running your hands along my body ******* me like it was a game
As I stumbled, pushing you away, I tried to say no. Please stop.
Your grip tightened on me to the point that I have a physical reminder of what you did
As I stumbled, pushing you away, I tried to say no. Please stop.
You saw me only as an object. Something for your pleasure
I stopped stumbling and stopped pushing you away. My no turned into tears as I realized you weren’t who you said you were.
I’m scared to see you again because I know we both think differently about that night.
You were sober. I was not. You said yes. I said no.
You had the choice to walk away and you didn’t
tinnnafish Mar 2016
In kindergarten I came to school in my lady bug dress with nobody to impress.  Not a care in the world. The only thing on my mind was “How many friends will I make today.”

Middle school ******, but doesn't it always? Struggling to fit it, literally. Shedding pounds like you wouldn't believe. You see, I found it very hard to finish my meals. “Wow, you look thin,” they'd say. I wasn't living a fantasy, I was living in hell.

Middle school finally ended and high school began.

Freshman year was the time of my life; a great friend group, people I could count on. My eyes open wide ready for anything. A glimpse of the real world. Freshman year I was invited to parties and offered drugs, little did I know that these two things would soon consume my closest friends lives. Freshman year lead to recurring pointless drama that would haunt us for the rest of our high school careers.

Sophomore year I lost my best friend. I lost my best friend because of a boy we thought we liked. I watched her go from a everyday student to a twice a week student, to a new guy every week, type of girl. Sophomore year I had a great boyfriend, kind, understanding and jealous. So jealous that he never left my side. From winter ball to prom he pushed and pushed. I never gave in and then he left. Sophomore year I said goodbye to my favorite Chilean and cried as he boarded the plane. Sophomore year I was told I wasn't pretty enough to ever be loved. Sophomore year I changed.

Junior year I began to try things new. Things to find a new me, things to make me feel free. Junior year I watched my best friend who's miles away nearly lose his life. Struggling to recover, he spiraled down hill. Depression, anxiety, and hopelessness led to the destruction of a great life. Junior year I decided to leave.

My senior year has a lot in store. Places unknown and a new beginning. My senior year puts me above and beyond, above my peers and much more mature. The drinking, drugs, and meaningless ***, I will be above that my senior year.

— The End —