one foot in front of the other you'd say
yet for some reason all you do is downplay

"it's just a phase," "its because your stuck in your ways"
but even when you'd abandon me on the holidays

you were my best night, my worst fight
a reason to stay up till the moon light
half of what I'd write, yet we ended full of spite

it was the sneaking behind my back
all the qualities I seemed to lack
and how you always made me feel like I was the maniac

you never truly cared for me
don't you dare say you love me
or even begin to talk about how great we could be

because real love should never be this absentee.

finding myself too often, trapped in your shallow waters
stuck searching for your heart, like an otter to an urchin
yet I've never been able to crack you open, no matter where I'd start

it's always been falling apart, a divergent boundary over an open ocean
even when my emotion ceases, it only ever lasts a moment
swallowing my pride and emptying my tears, the only thing still working

tears lurking into pools of wishful thinking, even with its own flood tide
yet there is only one way to cope, drinking and trying to stop sinking
maybe one day if I ever gain hope, I'll escape the abyssal zone

but I don't want to swim anymore.

In a garden of transgressions

Were the rains of normality disappeared

And the rays of contentment faded

The soil crusted with dreary sentiment

It was there I lied, a flower starved of regularity

Wilted, displaced, and in uncharted territory

A journey to comprehend my circumstance began

The sudden realization that every season can be a cause for reason

With that, gratitude began to poor in

The rhythms of sorrow transformed into opportunities for self-development

My buds of self-worth, security, and understanding began fluorescence

The rains of normality no more, but of support and growth

Rays of happiness and understanding

Beauty within the dissonance.

10:30 your slumber begins
no worries or thoughts of days since past
where we'd hold hands and say forever
but that had to end

11:30 you hold me closely
saying you're lonely
I give my testimony
we can't last together
no matter the weather

12:00 you ask if we'll see each other soon
maybe someday
on the other side of the moon
I whisper as your breaths give way
don't slip away...