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You fought  to burn.
Your heat scorched my skin.
You've left my ashes trembling.
"Twin fire signs; four brown eyes" -Taylor Swift
My stomach feels like deadweight.
My arms are about to fall off.
My lungs feel like they're paper frail.
My teeth hurt from smiling.
My mind has gone on overdrive.
    My heart's functioning automatic.
Lately I haven't felt anything but
the air that I'm breathing.
Theres a whole world revolving right now and I'm just sitting here wasting water.
People want a taste of death but
I want to feel alive again.
There are things I have to do
but I lie awake unnmoving for hours.
I lie to everyone I make contact with,
every ******* day.
Deep down I feel the tremors of an earthquake that may never surface.
**I'm waiting.
back and forth, back and forth
it drove him insane
but the back and forth, back and forth
was still better than the pain

he'd rather be in uncertainty
than lose her all at once
the fear of never speaking to her again
was better than enduring silence for a few months

but it got to him, still
her lack of commitment and the way her mind changed
he wondered if it was so easy, to let him go
if loving him was as easy as being from him estranged

she was so hard to predict and it wasn't easy
she went from 'i love you' to 'i'm leaving'
one day she'll want to choose you, the other, lose you
she went from all night conversations to not even speaking

i guess for him, the pros outweighed the cons
the hope outweighed the fear
he'd rather live in anxiety
than the lose the possibility of keeping her near

it hurt him inside, every now and often
but he embraced the uncertainty, the shaky life
he kept his mouth shut and took what he could get
praying every night that one day, she might choose him for good, and become his wife.
when it's right, you always know
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