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I don't have a lot of money,
no real talents to trade
I'm left with nothing but the extreme
if I want to achieve my dream
I'd sell my soul
honey
strip down
give my body
sell all my possessions
every last penny
if you'd just bring me a doctor
a doctor who can fix me
who's filthy enough-
no-
kind enough
to accept my extreme,
put me under the knife
slice away
until my ugly is a dream,
because it's all I've ever wanted
all I've ever craved,
doctor
doctor,
make me beautiful.
I want to be beautiful.
 Dec 2014 The Jolteon
Samantha
He told me he likes Bukowski.
That was the first sign.
You see, boys who like Bukowski and me
Don’t get along.
You see, Bukowski and me
Don’t get along.
I’m a Sylvia.
I’m an Anne.
A Maya and a Virginia.
You see, I am well versed
In death and silence.
You see, I have no interest in
Alcohol and misogyny.

He told me he likes The Smiths.
Now The Smiths
In and of themselves are great.
I’ve always been a fan of melancholy,
Of heartbreak.
Now The Smiths
Who have been morphed into this
Pseudo intellectual mirror are not my thing.
You see, boys pin me to a pedestal
For merely knowing who Morrissey is.
You see, I don’t care if
Dying by my side is such a heavenly way to die.
You see, I don’t plan on dying with him.

He told me he drinks his coffee black.
That would explain
Why when he kissed me
I tasted nothing but bitterness.
That should have been a warning.
You see, I need a little sweetness.

He told me he smokes cigarettes.
You see, cigarettes remind me of my father.

He told me I’m not like other girls.
As if other girls are a disease.
As if I am this magical creature.
This manic pixie dream girl with wings.
You see, there is nothing special about me.
I am me. Simple.

I told him he was a sad boy.
A boy who pretends like he’s wrapped in barbed wire
But is really a caged petting zoo animal.
A boy who will smile like he has a secret
But really has nothing to share.
You see, sad boys drink whiskey.
To me, whiskey tastes like listerine without the mint.
You see, he tasted like whiskey.
You see, he reads Bukowski.
You see, he listens to The Smiths.
You see, he drinks his coffee black every morning
And smokes a cigarette on his balcony
While reading the newspaper
And listening to a vinyl record.
You see he doesn’t love me.
He loves the idea of me.
He loves the idea of sad girl.
You see, there’s nothing romantic
About a boy who thinks romance is a Hemingway novel.
You see, I hate Hemingway.
You see, sad boys and me don’t get along.
Today one hundred forty eight were buried.
One of them was my son.
All fear of God from hearts departed,
Another war has just begun.
My heart is shattered in a million pieces
More countless than the stars.
My arms forever reaching but never truly grasping
My precious child now gone so far.
I still hear my son's sweetest voice
As sleep escapes from me,
"Mama, Papa, look what I have made!
I want you to come and see!"
But I turn and, alas, there is no one there
Just a room with a bed now empty.
Thoughts of leaving here, this torturous world
To join my son now tempt me.
Our children's lives were precious.
They had futures, they had dreams.
But now our children are sleeping, dead.
All hope is lost, or so it seems.
Today one hundred forty eight were buried.
One of them was my son.
But with God as my witness, his death will not be in vain.
A silent war has just begun.
Dedicated to the grieving families of Pakistan.
Violence is not the answer!!
PRAY FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST
They clash head on,
Swords ruling the battle,
War cries ringing loud.

The quickening of blood
Slowly painting crimson
The blades wielded by men.

I see the fire in your eyes,
Passion of your bravery
And courage of heart.

I see a gentleness of love
In your power and strength,
You fight as no other ever.

For the battle is not always
Clearly chosen for self,
But for whom is precious.
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