They coo over a child,
A child that isn't so different to me.
But he has a cute face,
Charming smile.

Everything I don't.

My parents love them as if they never had a child.

While I fade into the background,
Yet the tears fresh and shinning,
The only thing that makes me stand out.
Yet, I still fail.

I fail to be what everyone wanted me,
To be.

I'm sorry for being myself,
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.

I'm sorry,
So I'll fade here,
Unnoticed.

I stared at the big blue cloud,
It was in my hands,
It was so blue that it depressed me
But it was only fluffy candy

I picked a piece from the cloud
I digested it with my eyes and soul,
It was the brightness to a child's life
It was my only happiness

You look at candy,
As sweetness to your life,
but to me it was more,
It was the only freedom I had in the world

I bit into the blue sweetness
As it dissolved in my mouth,
It dissolved my pain,
I was sure everything would be fine again

Then, when the cotton got stuck between my teeth,
So did my hopes and dreams.
I felt like a fool for believing
A fool for trying

A tear slid down my cheek
Making the candy bittersweet
No Cotton Candy can make it go away
Rewrite my story

When they fought and screamed,
I'd try find my happy place,
Eat my sweet Blue Candy,
And just pray it away

I've tried everything
Clovers to Rabbit's Feet,
But this heavenly cloud
was the only price to pay

If my life was all drunk and dead
Would it **** to find my demise-free zone
And just eat some Cloudy Candy instead?

If wishes came true,
With every bite I took
I would have father with me
A Mother to love me

I kept eating the candy though
Even if it didn't taste heavenly anymore
Tears kept streaming down with every bite
I kept the harshness inside

The faster I ate, the more it hurt,
I couldn't swallow the lumps in my throat,
The pain developed inside of me,
Like a tumour, I was a waste, never needed.

You eat all the Candyfloss in the world, it won't work.
It just sweetens the pain, lessens the hurt.

We don’t think
Before we speak
But our words
Only take seconds to sink
Into someone elses heart
We seem to have no problem
Destroying what’s not ours


Words mean everything
From people who used to mean something

Routine reaches for me and Her claws dig my skin looking for freshness,
anything out of tedious everyday crap.

She scratches and consumes my insides,
until I'm left with nothing. Utterly hollow.

She swallows every particle of every atom and flees when it becomes too monotonous, leaving it impossible to survive Her.

I figure Routine has got to be a woman, who else would love you to the point of driving you mad, only to get bored and find a new host.

Learn to swim or else you'll be swallowed by the ocean.

(C) Tiffanie Noel Doro

I should go to bed but going to bed means waking to another day. At least in the dark, underneath the stars with a cigarette in hand, I can hide the pain from my mother and pretend as if her cancer doesn't exist.

Outside of the Serengeti lies a hunter called the lover.