i hold this knife in my hand
wondering where you went
i hole these thoughts in my head
broken and bent
i'm not a hero
so i can't see the stars
but i watch the moon go by
wondering where you are

I’m lying at the bottom of the universe staring upwards.
I guess I find myself here a lot.
With the sand making love to my hair and the stars running away from my fingertips so that I can never touch them, I wonder if this is over. I can’t feel the Earth’s heartbeat anymore and no one can feel me. I’m wind blowing across the speed bumps of my own body. If I scream in the middle of this forest will anyone ever heart it?
Can anyone hear me at all?
I’m drowning in plain sight just at the sight of all these things I can’t hold onto. You’re slipping away from me light years at a time.
Summer’s leaving and I’m still trying to sterilize this endless expanse of bleach white that coats my body. I think it used to be my skin but it’s your skin now and I can’t slip out of it. I’m slipping into something from which I do hope I never escape.
I’m underwater. Just down here looking up.

I can’t do this any longer.
They all toss my heart around like a football because its fun to watch the girl tear apart.
You don’t realize it, but it hurts me.
The way you flirted with my best friend right in front of me hurt,
The way you stared into my eyes and treated me so “nicely" was painful.
That’s it though, you simply haven’t done anything wrong.
You’re so perfect yet I'm still scared to feel.
Tonight was the night that I’d decide my feelings for you.
And I have, I fell for you so hard and this breathtaking, captivating, heart aching  feeling was so recognizable.
It was the same way I felt when I fell all those times before.
My body knows this as a warning sign,
Stopping me from continuing.
I am damaged from the past, and frightened by the future.
I’m stuck in this mindset, unable to escape.
I am defective,
Not worthy of anyone.
I was fearful of falling for you, and with good reason.
But now I've fallen for your quirky smile, your brown eyes, and your playful flirting.
I’ve put myself on the line and you've changed you’re mind.
You’re playing games that I don’t know the rules to.
You could so easily pull away from me at any second.
Leaving, and if that’s the case then I’ll bury my feelings so deep down and pretend as if they never existed.
But they’ll still be stuck inside,
Slicing up my body.
Causing unbearable pain which I’ll hide just one more time with a cute little smile.
And like every single time,
I’ll act as if I never felt anything.
But once I’m alone, I will breakdown, falling apart piece by piece.
Because I have finally fallen for you, and as I predicted,
I am breaking because of it.

i would, if i could write.
this in the layers of your skin
a tattoo  of my love....

you are my songline
every note, beat and pause
melody and harmony
you make my soul sing
and smile.
lover of my life
still nine years past
one look undoes me
one look and i am on
my knees
one word and i am begging
you....please
mother of my child
what an amazing thing we
made!
you think yourself fragile
but you are strong
you keep going, keep smiling
keep loving.

you are just so *******
gorgeous, all those curves
and curls, with eyes of sea blue ever changing

this year has been hard,
but we struggled through
you think i am your rock
or oak tree..
but honey it is all you.
you tie us alltoghether
with cords of sweet love
and i just need you to know
i see what you do
and i love you so very much
and everyday i hunger for
you...
have a great day..

I am paper.
You, scissors.
And you shape me
like a snowflake
Perfect,
Symmetrical
but
one thing
you forgot
to shape
was
my
inconsistency.

I am paper
you, scissors
and
you
shear
off
my unpolished
bent
"this is how i am"
edges

Do they make you uncomfortable?

Where do the scraps go?

Why do I have to be
a perfect snowflake?

How would you like to be paper today?