You always asked me
"What would I be without you?"
To be brutally honest,
that question scares me to death
because I already know the answer
and I don't want that responsibility
of being your one true love
there is a fine line
between love and obsession
and I'm afraid to say
that you've crossed over
to the other side
where love isn't enough
constant attention isn't enough
daily praise isn't enough
I refuse to be a prisoner to your love
you can't capture me
and put me in a high tower
out of fear that others
may find me desirable
I have spent many a night
scratching and scraping
at the walls of this prison
and today I broke through
and saw the other side of love
the love that is free
and trusting
and encouraging
and amazing
I couldn't look away
I had to have it for myself
so I pulled at the wall
until my fingers were bleeding
and the sharp jagged pieces
ripped through my skin
as I crawled through
the tiny hole I was able to make
I think I even let pieces of hair behind
but no matter
because I am now free
away from your angry clutches
and my new love is helping me
to seal up that wall for good
and I shall tell all about that very day
that I escaped from hell on earth
I wish you could see my smile
it would irk you
and that thought
would make me smile
throughout eternity

"...Enraptured and terrified
Denied and deified
Salacious and sanctified

What have you done?"*

...loved and lived
sacrificed and given
my soul to heaven
my life to hell
my mind in a purgatorial cell
pondering decisions
I made so ******* well
I chose to try
not lie, but die
prayed for a future
that couldn't survive

All of my dreams
suffocating within
sacerdotal sheets of silk
singing with sin
my only desire
to be within
this licentious fire
of our friendship ablaze
A satirical embrace
within two hearts
compressing space
separate, yet one
what have we become
but cardinal sins
within our confessional?

022604~9.12p