I blow dust off the book long forgotten;
It sprinkles like the stuff of faeries,
Gold and glittered across a mid-day sun,
A fraction of which allowed,
Through the only portal to me,
My one and only window.

The stars could twinkle somewhere south,
But I ply parallel a pale blue sky,
The trees, the birds, the oak and feather,
Simplicities from which I draw my breath.

It’s when my right eye twitches,
Ever so slightly, that this moment becomes
Ruined, reality and further ruined
By the projection of dead cells and mucus,
My reaction to the mites and memories within.

Soon after, tears from my left eye soothe
Parchment when empty entries persist,
And not from the moment I’ve found,
But upon the book that I’ve unearthed,
A tether yielding the child, “unworthy,”
And a life best to the orphaned,
Mothered by only the winds.

Thus I become the seconds where
The dust has since disappeared,
Moons offer placated grins,
And the magic’s all but exposed too,
Much like the my earlier sunlight –

Jokes behind omnipresent clouds, and so,
I slap the hand that yielded this treasure
And toss the jewels to the wolves below.
Leaving time, and myself, once more and
In ritual, to be forgotten.

"From the outside looks like I belong outside,
the tears of a clown-always on the inside
to go outside,I'm hesitatin-sweatin,,
give it one more hour til the meds kicks in,
ah,back on the inside,food run-job done,,
didn't heed the inner voice-"Run Forrest Run",
sweatin' in Tesco's,temper and distemper,
slam,lock my door,give a little whimper,
keepin' this front up is slowly killing me,
friends don't believe I suffer from anxiety,
not a common sight introvert,no stage fright,
turning into a vampire,never out in daylight,
hard to explain-confidence is a con,
even my mates can bring a panic attack on,
a social world yeah-connected society,
modern day Hermit,trapped by anxiety,

"counting flowers on the wall" chorus"
countin flowers on the wall that don't bother me at all,
playin' solitaire til dawn with the deck of 51

theres so much treatment available! you say,
the first catch 22 of a brand new day,
go to the doctor,then I'm tongue-tied,
ending up with Flu shots,cause I just lie,
strangled on anguish,put on a brave face,
tear back to the gaff, the only safe place,
a basement tan,rarely show my face,
mistakes of the past I wish I could erase,
fake smiles for those who wish me well,
between the devil and the deep blue sea,ah well,
"it could always be worse" was my childhood's call,
pull your socks up,chin up, don't shame us all,
"he's such a ******,all he does is read alone",
I'm still grinnin,and bearin',don't want to moan
I've got my net and my gaming,and my OCD,
like I've told you before don't worry 'bout me,

"counting flowers on the wall" chorus"

this is it,the end-the nadir,rock bottom,
I'd swallow a gun or load of pills if I'd got em,
It's a breakdown,meltdown,shutdown,sad clown,
take a crane to turn THIS frown upside down!
finally told my mates I WASN'T OK...
(tick,tick,tick)the clock churns away,
then the shock on their faces turns to concern,
first hug near broke me-floodgates turned,
I was a friend in need,with true friends indeed,
so if you're suffering in silence try and pay heed,
get out of your "aun heid" your soul needs to feed,
and there's only so much a sole soul can bleed,
take advice from one who had a foot in the grave,
don't let society turn you to a slave,
take pleasure in the small things,hear my call,
so you can spend less time counting flowers on the wall"

Remember us?
The ones you forgot,
The people you ignore.
You tried to forget us,
But we're still here.
Living on the streets,
In hospitals,
In shelters.
Some of us are lucky,
We have people who care,
But most of us are forgotten,
Abandoned,
Ignored.
Some of you try to help,
Most just walk right on by.
We are the forgotten,
The sick,
The dying,
The poor.
The parts of the world you try to ignore.
Look around,
The world seems fine,
Until you read between the lines.