The boy with the enamoring smile.
The boy with the besieging stare.
The boy with the intoxicating touch.
I want you.
I want you with ever fiber of me.

The closer I get the more I burn.
Like a feather next to a blazing fire.
The flames defile my body
scald my skin and my soul.
The pain is cauterizing but addictive.
The more I burn, the more I thirst.

For so long I’ve floated fixated ahead.
So sure in my path.
Yet there you were to change my course.
You shot me from the sky like a ******.
And as I fell in fear and horror you caught me.
Now obsessed, a willing Stockholm.

An all new kind of love.
So deep I don’t understand.
How can I?
How can the girl who knew all the truths be dropped in this chasm of ambiguity.
Terrified but intrigued of the new shadows that permeate my mind.
How could I have been so daft?

Hands trembling with the anticipation of seeing you.
Just one touch and my head reels.
So why am I scared?
A constant scream stuck and swallowed.
A fist down my throat that constricts.

Afraid of that dark side of the moon.
Afraid to get close. Fear of ******* losing you.
Losing you to the void losing you to time losing you to this material world in which you’re so infatuated with.
I’m so sorry.

Infatuating pleasures of the flesh or whatever you can ******* shove up your nose today shove it down your ******* throat like an unwanted scream so you can walk in that upside down.
Force it down. Take the ride. Virgil is waiting. Now an old friend.
The boat across Styx.

You speak of fear. Fear of being vulnerable. A naked babe alone in a field crying out for someone to hold?
If you’re so afraid why do you bare yourself to these demons.
Surely they take advantage of you and reveal you.

My god they will take you.
I see it.
They gnash at your ankles and aim for your knees.
Bring you to them and cover your legs in tar, drag you to the ground.
Drag you to the ******* ground.
They’re inky tongues creep to your chest and out to your hands bringing your face to the dirt.
Just as you scream the tendrils take over and spill into your mouth like an overflowing sink.
They cloud your eyes like a cataract until you’re a ******* empty vessel staring impassively at the opaque wall.
All I can do it watch.
Do you enjoy this mental prison?

These empty feelings ,one more minute in the shadow.
I see it in your eyes.
You see the void and the night closing in.
Maybe this isn’t what you see at all.
Maybe I’m irrational.
Is it just me?

Either way, I’ll take you when the fear overtakes you from your latest odyssey into the world of that line.
I’ll take you when sadness overtakes you and you wretch in my lap.
I’ll take you when you want to laugh and I’ll take you when you shove your arm into my chest, your hands around my neck.


I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry.

My god I hate this.