Why can I not get you too love me so
Why do we pretend at home?
Why do I moan your still around
Pretending with your quit frown.

I'll show you all my emotions
And shuv them down your throat
Until you choke,
But still you pretend too love me
Still we play like little dolls
In a little perfect house
I wonder what would happen
If I gave up this pattern?

Why do we do this silly merry go round,
Why do we pretend you love me
Why do we not  let this pretend  love die
Why do you do this?
Why do you just please me
Please leave me,
Please just leave me alone.

I hide my soul
So no one can destroy it
Pull at it
Talk too it
I hide my soul
So no one can see me
Free me.
I hide my soul
Only on paper
I do not hide,
I hide me
I'd like too be set free like the stormy seas
Like the winter breeze
For now I like too see me as
a willow Tree
This would set me free
I think
For now I'll hide me
I don't want too be free
I'm frightened .

Don't you try and tell me  my dear friend  that how love can be so beautiful, when all love brought me was shattered parts of my personality
, that I'm still picking up today.
Don't tell me that true love will make me a better person all love made me was bitter , sad., lonely. .lost, weak
I will sit on the self forever collect dust
Bitterly tasting nothing.I will safely rote away .

You called us too passing ships in the night
I said oh alright, goodnight,shut the door, fell too my knees,
God  lord or jesus too whom do I pray,
As I'm in dismay too what I say ,
This language we talk of, I'm not very   good at.
we call love,
As I let myself down ,I drowned in self pity,
I show all my sides, I pray I did not hide,
Well but, a little shy,
I need a reply,
Just a look my way ,
Would help me along the road of love
Or a  warm Wray from an angels open wings
Just too hear them sing,
That would guide me in my quest for love .
I pray I fall in love use my good sides
If a little shy,
God lord or jesus hear my cry
Hear my prayers
I need a love lullabie,
I need too feel loved.
I need the right person too come my way I pray
God, lord , or jesus .

I miss my love , i once was a loving girl with heart on her sleeve, till I met a man that I thought was too good for me.
Many a night we shared our thoughts,
Layed our body on knaked lawns,
We would talk for hours and ever more,
I was just in total awe.
I could not stop thinking of this man of mine, i just put him up so high so high
I could not fly,
But I thought he could, he should save the world and me too.
But yet we destroyed each other
Beat each other down
****** each other at every
chance we got, i hated him, I just hated him I become so bitter for my knight in shineing armor just did not exist.

I was heartbroken I think for the first time at 34 forevermore.
I woke up out of my fairytale
I'm not cinderella
He is not prince charming
I had put him on a pedal stool
Too high too reach...

I can not put my hoover down , I would rather make love too my hoover, more than a man.
My dusters I fluster
As I rub over my skin
I'm clean, there clean I'm excited with mr sheen.
Well , with Mrs fairy I better not go there,I found her very scary,
I love cleaning it excites me within,
When I do my dishes I have a massive grin.
With my mop I can reach every spot
I had Mr flash on my floor also up against the door.
I have o.c.d. you see, I just love to clean ,  it makes me want too scream
This is a obsession a thing I have too do
putting my house write how is dose so excite. I love cleaning.

I've been called a monster before
I thought thats a lie
But I hide just like a monster
Deep inside I have a part of me I hide
I despise.

I don't want too be a monster
That hides
I scare people away with just one stare
I frighten  my kids away
I will not be a monser

I will not be that monster
That shouts and scream in my dreams
That eats my soul
while I sleep.

I will beat my monster
I will love myself
I will  care for my monster
So it never give a stair that scares people away.
I will smile like a sunrise
And play like a rainbow too brighten my kids day.
I will care abouy my monster So it feels it safe.

I don't want too be a monster.

You claw across the room too me
Distorted in shadows you reach for me
I sweat
I shake
I'm gonna brake
You call so gently too me
Come my dear
You will rest with me,mentally you collect me,
This addiction is getting too me
I shake
I swear
I'm in dispair
I'm gonna break
I have too take
My heads so dark in this space
Embrace me it shouts
Just take me now
We will feel better
No black clouds
I take.

The guilt the blame the emptiness the same,
darkness came ,
I took painkillers
Just too feel better
No better I was
My addiction,
I have to really fight for me.

I will fight the fight too be drug free.

Just sometimes this fight is hard for me.