I’ve purchased a secret
Purchased and now possess
Lingering on your lips
Longing to leap onto mine

Softly break the silence
With a stupid little melody
Ignoring the pain around us
The distress, unease & austerity

Force open the wound
Allow the anguish to seep out
Leaking onto your new shoes
Staining them with suffering

Visit the vanquish
Tie the lace around their neck
Oh, just let them rot
Shortly after, I’ll go cash my cheque

the safety net no one asked for
clasping at the sides
tightening the jaws of betrayal
ever so quietly strengthening itself
each bite of your innocence
enhances the clutch

dismembering your freedom
stacking loyalty on top of love
laughing internally
laughing at YOU

the cloned feeling of fear
waits for the green light
meticulously planning the next attack

wait til it’s dark
wait til you’re in the darkest of places
and in that moment,
mortality is imminent

she retreats and sits
ties her hair delicately
inhales harmony
exhales gratitude

with the pen to the paper
she hesitates for a while
so much she could say
almost too many thoughts to compile

longing to write about such significance
expecting it to flow so easily
and hoping to reflect on something so magnificent

she rests her head in her hands
ticking over in tranquility
comforted by the unaccustomed feeling of stability
it’s just the beginning, she said

she puts down the pen,
rips out the page,
she yells ‘carpé diem’
and begins to seize the day

defeat pricking the dimpled surface
listening intently
manipulating, orchestrating & feeding the fears
butchering all sensations of opportunity
she curls up and loses identity
she kisses goodbye to serenity

escaping the stifled claws of society
she gulps the tangled energy
vibrantly gleaming
but not quite beaming
she rewinds back
back to a crisp January morning
when the walls didn’t scream
and life was a dream

feed me through a tube
tube linked to my mind
feed me til my head is full
full enough to make me blind

dish up those greasy lies
the cold goodbyes
force-feed me some facts
facts delivered alongside another story

wait until all i feel is guilt
and when it starts to disintegrate
send me a little text
reminding me to slump back into that state

you’re not doing anything
you should be doing everything
i’m appalled, disappointed, you’ve caused so much gloom

oh, actually
now i love you,
give me attention
now get out of your room

i’ll twist your mind
tamper with your thoughts
then i’ll play the victim
so i’ll never get caught

why are you so down my dear?
did someone hurt you?
or cause you fear?

yes, someone is ******* with my emotions
you want to know who?
well i don’t mean to cause you guilt…
but, it was you.

beating heart, pumping blood through a body
a body so lost
a body with no soul
a body so cold

in existential depression
simply calling for a response
existing in a pool of love
remaining comfortably numb

on a journey out of the fog
loving & living
formulating a path to triumph

she is fierce & fabulous
a dynamic woman
natural, strong & feminine

this road is going to be…
this road is,
incredibly spectacular

eating less and less
so we waste away
eaten less and less
i can see more bone today

why, you ask?

so you notice me
so you fall for the thin goddess
so i am a strong contender in the fight for your love

isn't it funny
waste away
become nearly invisible
only in an attempt to be noticeable