Hellopoetry,
I confess.
I have killed a man
who I love deeply

he was driven as the sun
and passionate as a storm
but now he is a sailboat
a vessel waiting for wind

years ago, when we had nothing
but each other, cuddled up
on an air mattress in the middle of a room
I was happy

he died five years ago
those hazel eyes I so adored
with green flecks strong as a rainforest
are now clear cut

was it my finger on the gun?
did I tie the perfect knot of a noose?
leave medication next to the alcohol?
...was it really me? how did I do this?

we have grown so far apart
that I barely remember
the boy who lit my heart ere long ago
who I kissed in the art room
next to my paintings
and I thought he was more beautiful
than any work of art ever could be

I see his shadow sometimes,
only when we're on vacation and he
wanders through trails holding my hand
once again young, shy, playful

and gone again so soon.