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tonylongo Apr 2020
The tannin in tea bags has been proven to reduce swelling (baggy under eyes) and discoloration (dark circles). Either put your used tea bag in the fridge or let it cool down for a half hour. Then damp the tea bag over your eyes for 10-15 minutes. If you're looking for that extra oomph, try using a caffeinated tea bag
Personally I put espresso beans on my eyes and now I can see your underwear.
Ylzm May 2019
A Neanderthal pointed to a stone, and said, "Oomph."
The others stared at him.

After a time,
another pointed at the same stone, and said "Oomph."
Then another, and another, and soon the entire cave,
was resonating with Oomphs!

"Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!
Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!
Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!"

A young smart aleck Neanderthal,
then stood up, and pointed outside the cave,
to a big rock, and said, "Oomph."

An instant silence: a silence so still
you can hear a bat **** dropped.

After a time,
with a thunderous roar the inventor Neanderthal
rushed the young Neanderthal
out of the cave, and bashed his head against the rock
killing him in one blow.

The entire cave erupted:

"Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!
Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!
Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!"

And that's the etymology
of their war cry;
And it was also how
their religion was born.

"Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!
Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!
Oomph Oomph Oomph! Oomph!"

— The End —