What could have been?
It’s something that crosses my mind every once in a while,
And no matter how hard I try not to,
I always end up thinking about it.

Would it have worked if I walked up to him?
If I had complimented his pretty smile and beautiful poetry?
If I had stared a little longer than just a glance, would he have noticed me?
Would me just being blunt, and confessing to him get me the reciprocation I wanted?
Would that have gained me the pretty boy with personality, that now haunts me like a ghost in campus hallways?

What could have been?

If I followed through with my plans to get him,
Would I currently be calling him?
Would we be exchanging good morning texts and poems if I had listened and just talked to him?

What could’ve been?

If I had wished him more than good luck,
would I be wishing him a safe return when he leaves?
Would I be sharing with him my deepest of thoughts, and all the love I put into my poetry?
If I was honest would our story be one for the books?
If I played my cards right, would he have been mine?

What could have been?
It’s something I can’t help but think about.
The thought lingers around my mind the same way he lingers around my heart
What could have been?

The smell of cigarettes surrounds me
As I climb the steps towards the doors
Of your home away from home.
My mother meets me at the door
And I sign the visitors register
Struggling to remember your room number.

3003

As I walk down the corridor
I am warned that you look tired.
I know how it's going to end and I’m somewhat prepared.
I see you, and my heart breaks.
I can’t stay for long for fear of exposing my emotions to Grandad
So I leave the room and escape the building tears streaming down my face.

The smell of cigarettes surrounds me
As I realise this could be our last meet
As I realise that I didn’t tell you, I loved you.