I should have held on to you longer in those fleeting moments.
Not pushing you away because of the fear I felt in my heart.
When I kissed you it should have been slower.
Deeper with each breath so that I could hold on to the electric feeling that surges between us when we have the slightest touch.
I should stop and chat with you longer when you probe into how I am doing when you see me.
You still know when I am putting on a front to the world with fancy hair and made up face.
You see it in my eyes and that is something that can't be hidden from those who have held your heart in their hands gently.
Closing up the wounds with soothing word bandages and healing love stitches.
I shouldn't tell you no when you say you want to see me or just need someone to talk to in the middle of the night.
I don't sleep after I tell you no because my mind wanders to the what ifs.
I should look you in the eye and memorize the planes of that face that lights up the darkness in my soul with each smirk and smile.
Next time we have a moment I will take all the advantages that I can.
If it be conversation, I will hold on to every word you say as if they were the oxygen needed to breathe.
If it be touch, I will let that touch linger past socially accepted confines.
If it be kiss, I will taste that kiss as if it were the best thing I had ever eaten in my life.
And if it be rekindled love, I will hold out my heart to you willingly, taking and giving much more than I did before.
I will continue to be more accepting to your advances and not confuse you with my nerves.
I should have done this and I should have done that.
I will do this and I will do that.
