Dysphoria is lifting a hot cup of bare black coffee to your lips
It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and third degree burns on your skin
It's one of the strongest romances I've had
She stalks wherever and whenever
Yet when pools of blood start to pour
Subsequently from slashes on my wrist
A smile stands tall on my brim
The story of hypocrisy beyond comprehension
How could a human find themselves in obsession
With disorders more dangerous than inventions
And still hold empathy in question
Truth is,
Despotic relations fueled with dissonant expectations
Transcend into deeper feelings of euphoria
Barbwire grappling my throat for seconds that feel like years
But then the pressure suddenly decreases
I'm left with rusted thorns and gaping flesh
Undoubtely grateful to stay alive
Relief washes over and taking a breath feels heavenly
As the opportunity to face demons comes again
The chances of overcoming rise above my head
Hazard and danger don't become horror anymore
If you take it by the throat and butcher it first
Growing into a body you dislike
while everyone is having the best time of their lives
you can't help but feel envy
people can show more skin than you do
because you hide in fabric that binds
people can go about daily conversations
you can't due to anxiety on how your voice sounds
people can walk into bathrooms without thinking
while some wonder if they'll be assaulted simply for being different
the presence of dysphoria hinders the quality of life
it's painful.
it leaves you jealous and scarred.
and the presence of euphoria reverses every horror of dysphoria and slams it on its head.
euphoria makes you feel ****, empowered, powerful.
Anxiety and stress erase while you feel radical and loathe in self-love for how you've crafted yourself to feel happy.
The existence of hate and how I am expected to accept it into my life, turning it upside down and under, makes euphoria even more satisfactory. The feelings of radicalness I feel will never be felt by a cis person. They do not hold the same roles to accept that their life will be miserable and unlovable on the basis of gender identity.
