Prickling sensation
Sinking down at a corner
Head lowered into palms
Hair hiding tear stains
But I can't look up anymore
No, I can't face what I'll see.

And I'm never at peace
Even if it seems so
Lying between ripped sheets and pillows
Fragile back turned at you
Keep calling my name out
I'm never gonna turn around.
My ears listen, mind doesn't
I'm alive but dead at the same time
Keep yelling out I'm worthless
But I can't look back at you anymore
No, I can't face what I'll see.

Your sweet abuses, kicks, lashes and whips
Leave new reminders on my skin each morning
All they end up doing is make me beautiful.
Them tight slaps across my shameful cheek
I'll fall on both knees, but I'll be smiling.
Cause it doesn't hurt the least bit
No, it doesn't pain anymore
Hit me over and over, I'll lose count someday
This body went numb ages ago
Heart forgot how to beat ages ago.
Don't expect me to get up once I've fallen
Trying to shield my eyes from the ruins I'm in
I can't stand up and look around me
No, I can't face what I'll see.

I'm in love with taste of iron
Deep in love with metal on skin
Blades make the best of friends
They're the only ones who understand.
But while they're at work
Inscribing lovely illustrations on my skin
Sight of blood sends shivers down my back
It reminds me I'm still alive.
So I clench my eyes shut, tight
And suffer in silence under the night sky.
Too scared to look down at those messages
The night and blade have left me
No, I can't face what I'll see.

I'm running away, hurting
Keep sprinting into the dark
But I'm slamming into dead ends
These tunnels lead nowhere but to hell and you
I'm stranded in your wicked maze till my last breath.
The ceiling seems the only familiar sight
So used to staring at it for hours now
All mirrors lie to me
You'll wince, best look away
I'd rather be a coward, head bent low
Congratulating myself having survived another day
Can't look up to see the mess I've become
No, I can't face what I'll see.
I can't.