my heart felt heavy
and I couldn't find a reason as to why it's feeling like this
I ponder as the moonlight glistens my room
making it look somewhat, dreamy.

I don't understand
I have a happy family
happy life, good friends,
yet this unseen sadness grows
becoming more dominant each and every
changing day

It makes me feel sick
I am worrying profoundly about nothing
the feeling of fear, worry and pure heaviness of
the abyss of thoughts
lays there, in my chest, in my heart.
And I can't get rid of it

It makes me want to scream
it makes me want to scratch my chest
and dig to find that feeling
to toss it out
but I can't

I cry easily
I became more sensitive towards things
Is it my loneliness?
or is it the locked up feeling of disappointment
buried in so deep
that I had forgotten that I had felt it ever so often?

What will my friends think of me?
the girl who tries to keep everyone around her happy;
who tries to put their feelings first;
who always laughs at every told joke;
who says yes so they won't have to feel disappointed;
and if ever they felt disappointed towards her
it would break her soul,


why is she feeling like this?



What have become of me?