Pounding through to the finish line,
You've finally made it through.
Not even close to last,
Right before number two.

This is the moment you were working for,
All the miles trod.
The trophy and the medal yours,
But who really won?

Was it the shoes, the miles, the clothes?
Or the stress, the drama, the despair?
Was rivalry what won?
No, these could never win.

What won were the smiles, the laughs,
The cheers, support, and popsicles,
A coach and team that love you,
Times spent working hard, and sacrifice.

So when you cross that finish line,
Remember the ones that won your win.
Reflect on all of your hard work,
And celebrate together, your gratitude within.

a hallway.  offices.  tinted sunlight.  
people who have forgotten my name.  
but i am here.  
and then a room.  and a meeting.  
and i am unprepared.  
“you’re up”  says the leader.  
and my lungs fill with heaviness as they all turn towards me.  
my mind screams.  
my throat locks.  

and then a word fights through the scream.  
and i breathe.  and find a voice.  
and then another word.  
and a thought.  
then relevance.  
i am moving.  
and eyes do not wander.  
but the scream fights on:  
they will find out.  

i was connected at one time.  
so the scream would fade.  
but not now.  
these many years later.  
“we could use you again,”  
he had said.  
and i had relented.  
but why?  boredom?  faith?  
the scream of fear vs. the scream of isolation?  
or a familiar voice dragging me back from madness.  
“what have you been up to?”  
he had asked.  
and i had lied.  
and now my mind all scrambled between work and stupor.  

“what on EARTH are you talking about?!”
demands the one who should have taken over for me.  
and the throat locks again.  
and the scream rises up.  
and he knows it.  
but sympathy has no place here.  
so i struggle with the scream.
and find the words to hide the Fraud  
as he shakes his head in disgust.  

and i remember why i left.  
so i wade in the scream until i am done and take my seat.  
and the scream that never dies whispers, “what else is there?”