I was made to be on top by God,
But I became a tool that only nods.
I see myself — I know I’m better,
But I can’t control it… and that’s what’s bitter.

I want to live as my true self,
But became someone who hides from himself.
I knew I needed a pause, a break,
But they yelled, “Stop? For God's sake?”

So I paused… and quietly broke.
Now I can’t hit back — I’m sinking slow.
In a lake of silence, deep and wide,
I watch the real me — float outside.

I had friends — but never knew why.  
I laughed with them… but still felt shy.  
They smiled, I smiled — but I stood apart,  
They were close in distance, but far in heart.  

I saw them enjoy, and I enjoyed too.  
Those were moments I wish I still knew.  
They were just three steps away —  
Yet I felt like I had drifted astray.  

It’s like they’re present,  
And I became past.  
We had good talks…  
But they didn’t last.  

I had friends.  
But now they’re lost.

I was alive — when I look back.
I can preserve it, but I can’t get it back.
I want to shine, but I’m not a pearl.
I want to cry, but I’m not a girl.

This society says: “Be happy, be composed,”
But never lets us feel free and exposed.
I wore a mask I wasn’t allowed to take off.
I’m a boy in a world that calls me free —
But I’ve forgotten what free even means to me.