though i yearn to be near you,
though your smile makes me excited.
though your eyes are all i dream about.
my love is unrequited.
-
that’s just how it’s meant to be.
you knew what you meant to me.
i handled you, gently.
but you seem to resent me.
-
guess im laying in a bed that i made.
i despised the reprise of these days.
you know where im coming from,
go easy on me.
it is karma, she has always won.
she is all i can see.
walk a mile on my feet,
bet you’ll find what you seek.
everyone can have their fun,
just not me.
-
i am the bad guy.
i cry a sad cry.
say i always play the victim.
**** i sure know how to pick ‘em.

whisper in my ear.
tell me the things i like to hear.
tell me all the things you’ve never said before.
say that you’re ok with me being this way,
say that you accept me as i am.
-
cause im not changing,
im only ranging .
i am who i am.
you are who you are,
and im not judging.
so love me with your all or love me nothing.
love me when i fall,
& when im bluffing.
would you still love me if i didn’t know how to love you?
or would your clouded judgement block the window of a good view?
would you love me if i lied?
will you still love me when i cry?
or would you give up..say goodbye?
i tried.

i have days i am blank.
i have days all i do is write.

i treat people accordingly.
the ones i love are bored with me.
my love is not enough.
my love, that must be tough.
-
when i can no longer do
then i am useless.
yes, it’s true.
i am disposable,
yet convenient,
like a tissue.
-
but don’t you come up in my space.
i will dismiss you,
life goes beyond,
so i will live without or with you.

9 to 5,
i survive.
i don’t live but im alive.
i still give though im deprived.
-
i hold my head high,
& keep my dreams low.
my talents are like secrets,
no one can know.
-
more money in the clubs,
more money on materials.
more money on more money,
still we lack.
it’s irreal.

attention is expensive to pay,
not moved by the things that you say.
you feel a way,
it’s okay.
-
secure in the thought of not needing nobody,
but i be wanting somebody.
someone strong & passionate,
who can challenge the fear
of the unknown & the reality of what is right here.
someone kind and complacent
not weak and abrasive.
no words that can take him,
even if i do say so myself.
-
you’re the one and i see that,
& my reaction is a react.
not a distraction,
it’s a relapse.

i am open.
on the surface.
i hide my feelings on purpose.
people say that im heartless,
i say that im hardened to hurt less.
i do not fear a broken heart,
those are battles i have conquered.
i seek the solace and comfort.
i am open.

pick a poison.
drain it slowly,
hope it quenches your thirst.
swallow gently,
read the label.
though, that should have been first.
“how do you feel?
i hope it heals.
i hope it gives you what you need.
no blurry vision,
this is real.
what do you see?
i hope it’s me.
i hope it’s true.
ill always be in touch,
im always here with you.
just keep this bottle by your side.
your world and mine, they will collide.”