Why did you look at me like
I was the person you’ve been waiting for.
Your line goes “just trying to be found in the ocean of people”

And i love oceans. I hate people.
Yet i found you
i wanted you i never want to walk away
I saw hell in your eyes
and I loved it anyway
You’re the most beautiful person I know
and you look cute acting insecure
with your nose
I thought I could stay as a friend
but finding out you face timing someone else
wreck me ****
Who knew it would hurt that much my heart
stopping me to sleep
I had to tell you I must leave
But you wouldn’t gaf
Lately you’ve been giving me
breadcrumbs so now you wont have to
waste energy in throwing the leftovers
of your time after you
spend it with her
A girl inside me wants to force
you fight you to choose me but that’s wrong
So I will keep walking away
I will always see you as someone
who got the ick but couldn’t tell her you
Don’t like her anymore
Maybe you’re emotionally unavailable that
every time i ask you to push me away
you only want to pull me closer
Why did you have to contact me
why did you have to reach me when I already ghosted you
Why could you not leave me alone when you never wanted me in the first place
Why did you make it feel like we are meant to be
You have no idea how much i feel for you do you
The devil couldn’t get to me so he crossed our paths knowing i would leave everything i would forget everything I’ve ever known just to be with you!
My fault
I genuinely believed you was sure of
me as much as I am to you

You wanted to be found but not by me
Not by me.

What is living?

I dont know.
Some people living their life with happiness
Some peole living their life with sadness
And most people living their life with both situation.
When some people think that life is just a wasting time.

They never feel like really happy
They never feel like really sad
They wanted to feel them.
How it feels like to be really happy until you smile everyday?
How it feels like to be sad until you want to end your life?

For some people, life is just wasting time
You just do everything in circle day by day,
Time by time
The exact same thing
There's no happiness, sadness, or excited over something
Their heart just empty.

Well, maybe life is not wasting time
But we are waiting time,
To die
That's okay
Maybe we can find something exciting in there
Just wait

Monday, December 1997

i don't know you
you don't know me
we never even meet

Saturday, Christmas 1999

in the park
i was alone
you was alone
i was busy with my book
you was busy with your dog
we don't even know, that day:
we breathe the same air
God knows.

Tuesday, September 2001

my aunty Linda was giving birth
your mom was sick
i have eye contact with a guy in that hospital
you have eye contact with a girl in that hospital
we don't know we're seeing each other before
God knows.

Friday, February 2006

heavy rain, i don't care, im sad, broke up with my boyfriend.
heavy rain,  you don't care, you'd some work to do
i was slowly walking trough the rain, crying
you were fastly running trough the rain,
i seen you,
ran
and the world stop,
when that bus hit you
i came to you, still crying.
try to woke you up,
doesn't work.

Sunday, February 2006

i know your name, Alan
you don't know me
you open your eyes
you said, "what's your name?"
im Dee.
now you know my name.
you said "Thanks to save my life"
you smiled. i smiled

i thank to God.
he was opened his eyes
even for 6 hours before his died.
at least
He know my name.
God knows