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pluie d'été May 2014
your words
feel like
the most beautiful punch
to the chest

and you
keep holding me
under the waves
pluie d'été Apr 2014
he always asks
why i am sad

he always asks
why i would choose the sadness
over happiness
every time

i don't want to be happy
completely
because i am
an echo of my soul
and there are parts of me
missing

abcd  g  j   m
pluie d'été Jul 2014
forever
isn't the eternity

we were brought up
to believe

in

it ends
for the butterfly
faster
and for the blossoms
that land in your hair
sooner
pluie d'été May 2014
i am
cold
without you
pluie d'été Jun 2014
if i don't change down
around
this corner

if i don't take my foot
off
the accelerator
and put it
on the brake

if i forget
to steer

.....
pluie d'été Apr 2014
i used to think
that the leaves
hiding away
from winter
would make it snow
pluie d'été May 2014
these are all lies
wrapped into
gold
and dipped in the light
of the moon

take some wine
a tumble
across the bed sheets
with another
until it feels better
until it feels
like you can understand
it fully
though it's really
just an illusion
that falls
like a shadow
cool
across my skin
in the summer

moving in the wind
that keeps changing direction
like my opinion

and this poem
pluie d'été Apr 2014
the bareness of your hands
white
like winter
stand out in the summer

just take me
pluie d'été May 2014
sometimes i can breathe
in the dead of night
without you
beside me
and it makes me feel
so proud
pluie d'été Apr 2014
he asked me
if i missed you
still
and i couldn't
get the words to form
on my lips
pluie d'été Jul 2014
i lie still
in the morning
and watch the sunrise
creep up
my wall
to the white
of my ceiling

bathed in grey light
subdued
by unfallen rain

i wish the rays
of sun
were your eyes
moving
over me
pluie d'été May 2014
if i could tell you
how much i miss your shadow
at night
when i am asleep

i still wouldn't
pluie d'été May 2014
i couldn't help but notice
how beautiful your eyes become
when you're about to cry
pluie d'été Apr 2014
you are everything
that i cannot count
on my fingers
pluie d'été May 2014
i am
running out of things
to say

i think
i need someone
to break my heart
again
pluie d'été Jul 2014
why do we laugh sometimes
when we don't mean to
and say words
that we immediately wish
hadn't spilled
from our lips?

why do we smile
when we really needn't
and why are we kind
to the people
who must be the most
unkind?

why do we pretend
everything is okay
when it's not
and try to ignite
our shadows
before they consume
someone else's light
just as important
as our own

why do we agree
when our soul screams at us
to stop
and keep silent
when we should be
the loudest?

why do we keep letting
honesty
be the lie
we avoid
pluie d'été Apr 2014
You had me
At hello
And I thought that I would have you
At good bye
Otherwise
I would have never made you leave
pluie d'été May 2014
Don’t you wish
My darling
That we were as infinite
As the wind
pluie d'été Aug 2015
She woke up
Not in the morning
Not in the middle of the night

She woke up
Not with a fright
And not in tears

She woke up
Not with him
Not alone

She woke up
To silence
And sound

Hum a song for her
Murmur
Against her neck
Feel her pulse
Slow

Catch her ribs
Against yours
Darling
Trace them
Until they stay

Don’t let the sounds
Slipping through the lips
You kiss
So hungrily
Starving and
Sated
Roughly
Gently
Get away

They are not
A part of your dream
Cover her eyes
Before she moves
Again
Don’t let her
Let the light in
pluie d'été Sep 2014
if you were
ever to leave
i hope that  would be able to
forget you

if i ever
were to leave
i hope
that you would
forgive me
pluie d'été Nov 2014
There was once a girl
Who loved the rain
And a boy
Who loved the sun

They met one day
In the drunken moonlight
Fireflies fell from the trees
Burning out before dawn

His hands were warm
And her's were cold

They breathed in unison
Opposites
Their eyes flickering
Against the sinking sky

"You make my heart race."
He said.
"You make my heart slow."
She whispered.

The sunlight stabbed the night
And the moon fell
Out of sight
Pulling down
A thousand clouds

"Kiss me,"
He demanded.
And she did.
pluie d'été Aug 2015
Aren't you the One
With your coffee eyes
And your trembling laugh

Hold me
To your ribs
I feel your smile
Against the palm of my hand

Aren't you the One
With your teasing hands
And your calming arms
The sunlight
Reflecting off your eyes

Aren't you the One
With your sleepy murmurs
Against my neck
Your kisses up my wrist
Wake me
Later

Aren't you the One
Who saves me
And ruins me

You have my forgiveness
Without even an apology
pluie d'été Jul 2014
Daisy Buchanan
Once said
That there was nothing better
A girl could be in this world
Than a beautiful
Fool

When I smile
With flowers in my hair
And innocence
Pooled with naivety
In my eyes

I hate myself
pluie d'été Oct 2014
october
you have come to sweep me away
with your flowers
blue
and the sky
falling

pass quickly
over me
my love
like the wind
that keeps slipping through
his fingers
pluie d'été Sep 2015
we were answers once
but then we left
and became questions
pluie d'été Aug 2015
there are thunderstorms
and rain

i swear i can hear
the jasmine
opening under my window

there is the roar of the ocean
a hundred instruments in harmony
only one

your voice is still my
favourite sound
pluie d'été Aug 2015
There was once a boy who was so in love with a girl that he forgot her.
He forgot her eyes
Glittering like the sea
And her lips
Curved like a scarlet bow

The freckles across her nose
And her arms
He forgot the shapes of each one-
The constellations that they made

Her scent
Her skin against his
So smooth that it felt like nothing
Her cool hands
That burnt her in summer

He forgot the way to felt to hold her
In his arms
Pressed to his chest
The way he voice sounded
In the morning
At noon
In the evening
The fluidity of her laugh
The sadness in the way she held his hand
And the change in her heart beat
Against his fingertips

He loved her so much
That he forgot her

He stares at me
Across the room
Save me
Save me
He shoves words down his throat
Until he can’t see
And he covers his eyes
Until he can’t breathe
pluie d'été Nov 2014
my fingers move across the letters
feel the ridges
and the spaces between the slightly
rounded squares

q a s p y u e i o c f d

the keys don't make the words
i want them to
or say the things
i mean them to

g j o d f p f s f w e d k f j o g ?

i want to write
the most important sentence
to have ever slipped out
of my fingertips
but my mind keeps on
stuttering
and the clock on the wall downstairs
keeps on
ticking

p o h j l d e m y u i

i am a history book
that's almost twenty one years old
and i feel like i hold
a thousand empty pages
ready to disintegrate
with the next farewell

o p h k l o m n y r i c d

the shadows of my thoughts
fill the spaces in my mind
and make my heart jump
at the clarity
fleeting
and i wish i could write
fast enough
to catch the words i want to fold
and press to
your warm heart
but then i would be
as perfect as you think i am
and a lie

g n o b m h l o w t

i am afraid of your eyes
and the way your smile
has begun to hesitate

forgive me if i am wrong
and if i leave
before you can say goodbye
pluie d'été Jul 2015
eventually,
we will all stop writing poetry
because everything we write
becomes true
and our pens don't stop bleeding
pluie d'été Sep 2015
You are wind
And the colour grey
You are a composition played on a piano

A cloud
A drop of rain
A torrent
A ray of sunshine
Your shadow

You are the azure sky
A millimetre of the ocean.

You are thunder and lightning
Racing in your effort to catch light with sound
And sound with light
When the echo drags out too long

You are winter
And you are spring

Nothing and everything
A contrast
And a similarity
You are the opposite of me
But the same as me

Hold the stars
Against my lips
Whisper how everything is ending
How everything is an infinity

Touch me
With your warm hands
Make me shiver
From the cold

You are a symphony
And you are silence

We are infinite
We are saying good bye
pluie d'été Jan 2017
he blew a kiss to me
across the garden
I thought that I felt it land on my cheek
but it must have landed on
the sunset instead

The stars were beautiful that night
pluie d'été Feb 2016
It is infinite
The way we breathe and feel
Undefined
But inescapable

Hold out eight fingers
To trace the outline
Of my ribs
Fall on your side

The universe is
A mystery to you

But it’s far too small
For me
pluie d'été Nov 2014
it's sad
my love
when you laugh

and it's sad
my love
when you lie

and lately
darling
you've been doing both of them
simultaneously
pluie d'été Dec 2015
I do not believe in words
Running away
And painting a picture of
Yellow and Sunday smiles

I do not want to read the words
Defining a photograph
I feel that I must know
What they say already

I am looking everywhere
For the words that will save me '
With their silence
But I cannot bare to read
Any longer
pluie d'été Jan 2016
How can one die
From sadness
When one is made from it?
pluie d'été Feb 2016
and it was universal
the way we fell in love with feelings
and dark eyes

capturing
freeing

it was never supposed to be easy
but sometimes
when you smile against my lips
or trace my ribs
and i feel
your laugh
against the palm of my hand

it's the easiest thing
in the world
pluie d'été Apr 2014
If we were a Dream
And you were a Liar
What would that make me?
pluie d'été May 2014
god,
he says
you're pretty

god,
he says
you're beautiful

god,
he says
you're an angel

god,
he says
i love you

god,
he says
i do
i swear

god,
he says
you're good

god,
he says
it's time
for me
to say goodbye

god,
he says
i lied

god,
he says
i lied again
pluie d'été Jul 2014
let me hold your hand
and caress your wrist
barely
with my fingertips

look me in the eyes
and look away

i wish it was guilt
but guilt
isn't the synonym
for shame
and shame
is beige
and unrelenting
it's never halting
because
it's only
your conscience
you know

so move your hand
israel
and palestine

it seems to be so easy
to press
the red button

why then,
is the aftermath
so ******* hard
pluie d'été Apr 2014
I Hate Your Answers
When They Are
Everything
I Really Want To Hear
pluie d'été Apr 2014
I don't believe you
Because the lines
You say
Sound too much
Like poetry

The apology
You wrote
And pressed into my palm
Staining my fingers
With black ink
Tasted
Too much
Like vanilla
And Lies

Maybe
Everything you say
Is the truth
But maybe
It's all a lie
And I will never know
And you will never know
Because I do
Exactly the same
When I say
'I do too'

Only realizing later
After you scream
That you miss me
That I never missed you
Too
pluie d'été May 2014
How I long
Sometimes
To have been
Locked into Never  Land
With you
And Peter Pan
And all the other
Lost Boys

I would give
The greatest
Villain
A kiss
If only
I would
Be able to be
In your arms
Again
War
pluie d'été Apr 2014
War
wrinkled hands
imprinting
minds
with their pressing fingerprints
stain our eyes

good
is not good
bad
is not bad
and war
must really mean
peace
because that is all
we are fighting for
#war
pluie d'été Nov 2014
it's rain, it's snow

you swear that the sunlight
is as cold
as the wind

as loud
as the fiercest thunderstorm

and as still
as the mirror
held up against the blue
blue sky

but it's not
and you still lied
when you said it wasn't
always warm
pluie d'été Apr 2014
wear me
like a sweater
close to your heart

i want to hear
its falling echo
and feel the coolness
radiating
from your skin
feel your fingers
curling at the sleeves
when it rains

wear me
like a sweater
so i can hear
the rush of your pulse
in my ear
pluie d'été Mar 2014
You still smile at me
After our togetherness
Has gone

You still call
And stop by
Asking me
Over
And over
To be
Again

I know
The reader of a thousand books
With heart breaking
Endings
How this will end

I know you
The watcher of a hundred
Romantic
Love- cliche films
Do not

Stay in your innocence
It is your safety
To a danger
You are not aware of

We do not end up
Together
Again
pluie d'été Oct 2014
paper kites
abandoned by the wind
are falling
in the sea

clinging to the grey
as we fall
grasping
at broken clouds

scarlet streams
follow us
and make an atlas
of trails

for the stars
to follow

k.d
pluie d'été Mar 2014
trace an atlas
over my pale cheek

make a mark
for all the places
we will never see

consellations
that swear above us
how we can never be
shadow
the black cat
that you say
must be chasing me
pluie d'été Feb 2014
What if the last words we spoke
Are left like a shadow
Above our still lips
Our absent lips

And others
Of us
Stumble upon them
In their morbidity
In their peace
And scrawl them
Onto pages
With a trembling pen
In trembling  hands

Drowning
With the sorrow of your shadowed
Words
Hung still
For eternity
pluie d'été Feb 2014
an old man
with eyes
wise
tired
wild
talks to me
he asks
for my name
returning
my smile
a voice
educated
and mild
'what is the name
that comes after?'
i tell him
and he laughs
'i knew your father'
he says
'in the 1970's'
my father
was just a boy
'he was president'
he says
'a good president'
it is not him
but i smile
pretending to understand
the sentences
jumbling
rushing
like a tide
dirt tracking history
on sun faded clothes
worn neatly
he goes
for a moment
comes back
ashamed
'what is your name?'
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