my heart
with you
i watch it slip
away
at your smile
the touch
of your electricity

the magnetization
of the nothingness
across from you
draws my soul
and i feel it slip
through my fingers
trickling
slowly
when you press my palm
my wrist
my lips
to your own

can you feel me
drowning
wrapped in your sure arms
it is safety
i lack
lessening
my heart

my conciousness
screams
until it becomes silent

take me
take me
it's too late
for your apology
it's too late
for me to forgive you
again
it's too late
for words
printed on a page
to be worth less
than the ones
you utter

i won't be here
when you wake up
to the illusion
of what you want me
to be

It was so easy
When we were alone

The lights would lie
Like bright shadows
Stained pink
At the horizon
Heavy in the sky

You would hold me
To you
Watching my thoughts
Flicker
While I would feel your heart beat
Behind me
Slow

When you spoke
You read
Of a fairy tale
With the only ending
We could imagine
Happy
It was what we had been taught

We were happy alone
You were happy with me
I was sad with you
But they cancelled each other out
A little bit
Scraped apart
It made us
It made us
Who we were

When we were alone
You had me
Almost all of me
Convinced that there were only two to a world

There are not
There is a much greater number
One

Would you allow yourself
To drown
If you knew that I would save you
He whispers to me
Underneath the palest night sky
Slowing my heart
At the gentleness
In his shattered voice

I turn to his open arms
Infinity
Held in his palm
Caressing my bare back
Butterfly kisses
Down my spine

His scent
Like the rain
Covers the sky
Fulls my heart
With spring
Turning to winter
Back again
A pendulum
Swaying
At the absence of wind

Catch my sad eyes
The ones you say
Lead you
To infinity
In your own
Warm, cruel
Gentle, cold

My fingers
Slip out of your own
When you hold me
Closer

I watch your heart
fall apart
with my sad smile
echoed in your drowning eyes

I feel you grasp
at my fingertips
and hear the words you murmur
whenever you want me to stay

you make me lie beside you
on the cool sand
beside the cruel sea
and try to read
the stars to me

you whisper meanings and words
so beautiful
but how can it be
when so many of them
are shadows of light
left behind
after careless wishes

whisper to me
again
into the crook
of my crooked neck

tell me
how much you love me
let me bury
my face
in the fold of your arm

whisper to me again
i will press your hand
to my chest
stilling
you're breaking my heart
with your honesty

whisper to me again
tell me
how fragile you are
with your eyes
the words
coming from your lips
taint my memory
with the sweetest music
and i wish
that it would stop

you fall in love
with the way your fingers
run through
my tangled hair

you fall in love
with how the skin
against my jaw
feels against your thumb
when you turn me
to face you

you fall in love
with the green
of my eyes-
like the sea
when it's lonely-
with the grey of my eyes-
like the sky
before it cries-
with the blue-
the second colour
of my every bruise

you fall in love
with the mystery
hidden behind
pale lips-
slowly
like the way you smile

you fall in love
with the shape of my legs
and plane
of my stomach-
i often
say no
thank you
(i am starving)

you fall in love
with my mind
like a puzzle
you can't get enough  of
(when you eventually
put me together
you will find
a piece
missing)

you fall in love
with my heart
kind words
flowing like a river
warm
like the sun in winter

you fall in love
with my thirst
for words

will you be there
when i comb the knots
out of my hair?

will you be there
when my jaw
is too obstinate
to move?

will you be there
when my eyes are closed
(or can't)
or when they act
like a thunderstorm
in summer?

will you be there
when you've gotten up
after falling
quickly?

will you be there
when i can't move
or after i say
yes
again?

will you be there
after the puzzle
becomes shuffled?

will you be there
when my heart
freezes over
for a day
and nothing
(anger
if anything)
and covers
my moving
river?

say no
so that
you mean yes

k.d

will you miss me
when i am swept away by the winds of autumn
cracking
between the leaves?

will you miss me
when i am flung
over the dreading sea
frozen
in time
until the sun
leaves?

will you miss me
when i am stolen by the moon
just before you wake
a while before you sleep?

will you miss me
the last note of your favourite song
if suddenly
i am no longer there?

will you miss me
the answer
to your favourite question
whispered into your cool neck
in a moment
becoming a  blur

will you miss me

i need the windows
open
to be able to breathe

it's just that i love you
it's just that i don't
won't you forgive me
if my indifference
turns into hate?

what if the words
we really need
to read
are in a language
we don't understand

you asked me
what i saw
when i held your face
in my hands

you asked me
what i saw
when i stared
up at the sky

you asked me
what i saw
when i looked
over your shoulder
to the ocean

you asked me
what i saw
when i couldn't take my eyes
off the page
of the book
open
in my lap

you asked me
what i saw
when the sunlight
stretched across
your chest
and warmed your heart

and all i could do
was kiss you
and smile

because
words
are like silence

and sometimes
they can be too much

i wish
i could write
poetry
like you

but i can't
so
i'll keep
dropping lines
between
words
until
i get it right

I watched his eyes
Fall downwards
Like ocean coloured rain
Sadness
And beauty

My heart hangs
At the sound of his sigh
At his absent smile

His fingers
Entwined carelessly
At my fingertips
Feel warm
And cold
At the same time
And I don't know
What that means

you caught a train
that had no destination
with that one

your subconscious
winks at you

your reflection
looks at you
in despair

over and over
you can't decide

who is a yellow mistake
or a grey lesson

your soul echoes
at the curve of my wrist

tired
eyes
warm
making my heart
beat a little bit faster
a little bit slower

a slow smile
as if you can tell
the story
of each wing
of the butterflies
moving inside of me
their speed
what it takes
to be captured

i smile
and look away
and when i look back
you are already there

i watch the world end
watching you fade away
like the summer sky
just before the night

you disappear
slowly
suddenly
pressing me
against your chest

do you see it in my eyes
like poetry
your words
short
cold
apologizing
again
and again
you lose me

look at me again
worry
care
stop
i don't want
your love
this is what it is
a lie
i wish
you had never
tainted my definition
of it

i have been looking for the emptiness
cluttered all around me
with you
holding my fist so tight
over every lie
slipping through your golden eyes
matching your smile
it's only beauty

you never said
that your heart
was enough
only that it was there

We were drowning
So rapidly
That night

I have to remember
That I don't merely need
Your kisses to breathe

i think you
are beautiful
and that your eyes
are like a river

your words
fall like drizzle
on the lashes
of my eyes

your smile
makes my heart
drop
into my lap
and weighs
down my steps

Your voice
Is like the wind
Falling
Around me

You remind me of summer
And monsoons
And everything else that makes me
Weep

Don't be so angry.  The world owes you nothing. It isn't trying to hurt you or make you wear how unfair it is on your wrists forever. It didn't ask for you to exist,  so don't curse it for the day you were born on, or act like it's an inconvenience around others for you to breathe and murmur and stare. Stop.
Stop thinking that everyone is superficial and fake and that you're the only 'real' one in the universe, or that they have the right to think of you any less than them.
Neither of you have that right.
You are here. They are here. I am here.
It doesn't matter what skin colour you are, or what gender you are or whether you like boys or girls or both. It doesn't matter if you believe in a god or not, or if you're uncertain. It doesn't matter if you are covered in tattoos or not, or if you love books or hate books, or if you're afraid of heights or aren't but wish you were.
Stop apologizing.
Stop screaming.
Think about what you're saying before you say it. Think about what you are doing before you do it.  
You choose how you respond, you choose your destiny, and you choose your reality.
So breathe and feel alive while you're alive. Laugh and love and get hurt. There's nothing wrong with living as who you are.
You are allowed to be.
They are allowed to be.
I am allowed to be.
We are allowed to be

You will be a gift at your best and someone who needs a shoulder to lean on when you are at your worst.
Let yourself see.
Let them see.
Let me see.
Let us see.

it's just a dream
a condescending tone
covering the sound
of falling
you try
bring me back to you
to an Earth
i'm about to leave
you tell me
tell yourself
it will all be alright
but it won't be
with you