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I hope for a time of freedom
and liberation from you.

I hope for a time when your words
will not matter and your thoughts, too.

I hope for a time to bring new love
and memories that will push you away.

You never pushed.
You never pulled.
You sat there
while I scrambled.

All I asked was to be loved
the way I did you -unconditionally.

So, yes, I dare to hope for someone
the opposite of the complete you.
 Dec 2014 Summer Lee
Marlena
Breath
 Dec 2014 Summer Lee
Marlena
Air, breath, in, out
When you are near,
to you i try and shout,
losing you is the greatest fear,
No longer free to roam,
you are a star, so near but so far,
you flee like sea foam,

I am shackled to you,
bitter and cold like a winters storm,
my walls start to crumble by the few,
your passion and care, start to warm,

the frozen heart which is mine,
simple and kind,
my star do you shine,
to a caring state of mind,

From now to then,
from the day of my death,
till we find our sense of zen,
for you i give my last breath
 Dec 2014 Summer Lee
coyote
wine for
breakfast:
the taste
is both
grape jelly
in a
childhood
summer
sweet;
and rock
bottom
bitter,
on my new
morning
tongue.
 Dec 2014 Summer Lee
Damon Heard
You must be able at all times,
To sacrifice what you are;
For who you could become

Realizing you've reached
A summit of your life's potential
You've been seeking

Getting confused by manipulation &
Excessive servitude becomes unneeded
then fail to exceed a life desire
Please tell me what I should improve.
I appreciate it!
 Dec 2014 Summer Lee
berry
i wonder if the doors in the house you grew up in
started slamming themselves to save your father the trouble.
i wonder if you can remember the last time you prayed,
and if you had trouble unfolding your hands.
i wonder if your mother knows
about the collection of hearts you hide in your closet,
i wonder if she could tell mine apart from the rest.
i wonder if your shoes know the reason why
you keep them by the back door and not your bedside.
and sometimes, i wonder
if you ever think about that night when i told you,
you wouldn't need to drink so much if you had me.
but it seems like we only speak when you've got body on your brain,
whiskey in your glass,
your judgement is overcast,
and you know i'm too weak to ignore you.
i learned how to translate your texts
from drunken mess back into english.
i am fluent in apology, but i don't ask you for them anymore.
this is just how it is.
it's not enough for either of us
but ******* it we are not above settling.
so i will ignore her name on your breath,
and you will ignore the fact that this means something to me.
i always thought the first time i kissed you,
it would be on your mouth.
i just wanted to be something warm for you to sink into,
something that could convince you to stay a second night.
but i sneak you out in the early morning,
and you take a piece of my pride with you when you go.
i am left to nurse the hangover from a wine i've never tasted,
wondering how this is possible.
waiting for the next drunk call,
for the next time i get to pretend we are lovers,
the next time i get to live out the fantasy i am most ashamed of.
it is the one in my head where you want me when you're sober too.

- m.f.
 Dec 2014 Summer Lee
W. H. Auden
Unbiased at least he was when he arrived on his mission,
Having never set eyes on the land he was called to partition
Between two peoples fanatically at odds,
With their different diets and incompatible gods.
"Time," they had briefed him in London, "is short. It's too late
For mutual reconciliation or rational debate:
The only solution now lies in separation.
The Viceroy thinks, as you will see from his letter,
That the less you are seen in his company the better,
So we've arranged to provide you with other accommodation.
We can give you four judges, two Moslem and two Hindu,
To consult with, but the final decision must rest with you."

Shut up in a lonely mansion, with police night and day
Patrolling the gardens to keep the assassins away,
He got down to work, to the task of settling the fate
Of millions. The maps at his disposal were out of date
And the Census Returns almost certainly incorrect,
But there was no time to check them, no time to inspect
Contested areas. The weather was frightfully hot,
And a bout of dysentery kept him constantly on the trot,
But in seven weeks it was done, the frontiers decided,
A continent for better or worse divided.

The next day he sailed for England, where he could quickly forget
The case, as a good lawyer must. Return he would not,
Afraid, as he told his Club, that he might get shot.
you are a summer night

the way you keep me up

so hot the sheets stick to me

i have to open the windows,

take off all my clothes

morning comes and i still

feel you on my skin
I can still feel hands upon my body. I miss them and I shouldn't, but their touch sends shock waves through my spine and I can't think of anything.. not even the time. Why do I miss those hands? They brought nothing but pain, yet I still reminisce and remember the shame. Can't help but feel like I belong in a mental institution when I think of your hands upon me could be the only solution. It's been years and it feels like yesterday when your fingerprints were imprinted on my thighs. I can still feel the burning in my brain from your piercing blue eyes. I don't know why I feel this way and I try to end it before it even begins, but biding my time does nothing when you're in this ****** up head of mine.
Can't write for **** anymore, but this helps.
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