Pine wafting through the
open layout of our house.
A million needles
waiting to be
swept up or
hidden under the rug.
The curious cat circles the tree
both meant to be wild,
but now domesticated
for the joy of human kind.
Why are we so selfish?

an avalanche of thought
crashing onto my spine.
Burying me with “what if’s “
and scenarios
that are impossible for
fruition.
I take the impact,
you receive an aftershock.
I’m sorry,
I’m sorry,
I’m sorry.
I want the be the heroine in the
novel they write books about,
not the woman that
always needs saving.

Taking off your half faced helmet
To unleash the messy curled
Mop-head of hair
“You need to cut it soon, baby”
I’m too distracted to think
Of trimming those boyish locks.
I remember all the days
I never thought I’d make it out alive.
Half dead for four years
You lit a spark in my mind.
I turn down the ***
I think of you
I think of us.
No high is greater
Than the feeling I have
When I see your smile.
The smile she could never get,
It’s mine now.

one day,
these times of us
sitting on the floor
eating chinese take-out,
will become a distant
happy memory.
maybe we'll upgrade our shoddy bed
to a king size.
maybe we'll have an actual house;
but we'll still find ways to
long for
the past.

but I can recall
the kindness
in your eyes,
and the openness
of your arms.

I stay up waiting
for the sun to rise,
only to be
hypnotized
watching the
moon stride
across the speckled
night sky.