I think too much,


                                              and sometimes
                                                       ­                         

                                      ­                                               I forget to breathe.

I can be an angry man.
Dead things that won't do as I wish
Tend to break.

Leaving behind a wake of
Fractured drywall and
Nervous cats,
Band-aided knuckles and
Bared bone,
I scare others. Hurt myself.

It's a family curse.
Our men are fiercely fuelled, have
Little patience for slow movers,
Rude tones, spite.
Grenades of muscle and noise
That explode in the faces of
Disrespect, then stand
Alone in craters
And regret.

Thank the gods we love with the same
Intensity.

Maybe
If I tore open my chest
And let my soul come bleeding out
To seep into the cuts
Ingraved deeply on your hands
I would soak in so deep
You would have no choice but to
Taste me
In every breath you took
See me
In the darkness behind your eyelids
Feel me
In every spine-tingling chill
That made you feel so much more alive
And maybe
Just maybe then
You could finally feel
What is like
To be connected to someone in such a way
That you think they live beneath your skin

Daddy!!!!
Where are you?
I need you
It seems like we were close,
Until I lost you.

Now I feel:
Abused.
Misused.
Shut-out.
Independent.
These people don't know our bond,
I can feel your presence.

I can feel you but I'm never able to touch you,
Hug you and tell you how much I love you.

A mothers love is all they say I need
But lately I've been deprived of the very little I need.

I need you in my life to show me true loves course,
Because without you love is lost.

Where will you be when I'm eight-teen years of age,
To show me that I do have some good ways.
To be my teacher but not to an actual class;
To be there when all love seems lost.
To guide me and show me the right way.

All these words running through my mind so I'm left to say:
"Daddy, where are you I need you?"
With no response, I carry on my way;
Thinking my daddy will answer me some-day.

I wish that the dark scared me
and the silence didn't.

I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.

The pen trembles, the paper perspires,the hand remains steady. Or is the mind weary and reality an illusion within a dream?
Infatuated with harmonising every line. Your mind is violent but your words are quite. incessantly bleeding the pen but there is no pain in your words, just anarchic serenity as you conclude with tranquil tragedies.

Poet, be not afraid.
There are far worse things than
Bad poetry.

Keep writing; like a child keeps
Drawing with the purest of
Disregards to likeness.

The more stones you turn, the more
Gems you produce.

The more ink you rain,
The more gracious your written
Children grow.

All flexing builds muscle.

Rough bricks form castles.

Even Dalì carved canvases to shreds
And started anew
Not caring too much.
Not caring

Too much
To keep painting.