I like to watch the sun rise
because you'll never know when you'll die
when the light in your heart
isn't so bright
as the street lamps at night
as the sun in the sky
I like to watch the sun set
when the clouds go away
and the sky is dark
and you wonder why
you're not enough
then forget it all
because you have love
and you're watching the sun
up above

I'm here.
I'm there.
I'm unwanted.
Unneeded.
I don't feel wanted
I don't feel needed
I don't feel okay
I don't feel ******* anything but sadness
and love

Sleeping on a loveseat
in a crowded living room
waking up in the morning
tap tap tap on my leg
"You have to babysit," she says,
walking out the door with her husband
My mother, oh my mother
left me here again,
with three kids
I know she has to work,
I know she's got bills to pay
but I wish I had some time to myself
to be 16
like I'll never be again
I want to learn to drive,
I want to catch fireflies at 12 a.m
with bare feet sliding in the dewy grass
I'm only 16 my brain says
no, wait, not even 16
not yet
I want to learn to make my own mistakes
and not have to be an influence
I know this is my life..
but I wish I didn't sleep all the time.
Depressed, anxiety
I really wonder what's wrong with me
I want to love myself
like the love I give to everybody else
I want to get good grades
and kiss the night away
I want to cuddle up in a big warm bed
beside my lovely
but no
I'm sleeping on a loveseat
in a crowded living room
wondering what's wrong with me
to wake up in the morning
to birds singing the same tune.

You can hate me for not saying I love you. You can hate me for not being able to express things the same way you do. You can hate me for the way I do things. You can call me a pathetic *****, a coward, worthless. Go ahead. I’ve probably heard it a thousand times and I started believing it a long time ago. Go ahead and insult me, my music, the way I talk, walk, breathe, live. Go right ahead and be my guest.

Go ahead and go to her, we all know she’s funnier, prettier, and she’s not a total ******* loser like me. That’s cool. It’s not the first time, everyone prefers her. Some people actually see who the better person is in all aspects - hint hint, it’s not me.

Go back to not thinking I exist. Forget my existence.

Let's start this off by saying I'm a size 6
And I'm told I'm on the weighter side.
When did that become true,
And why should I care about you?
Average American size is 14,
I don't know why you're so mean.
Let's pay more attention
To how much is our tuition
and our poverty rates
all the crimes of hate
Let's forget the size of our jeans
Pay less attention to the movie scenes

I write to show
I write to feel
What do I feel?
Even I don't know.

When you're with me,
I feel no pain,
I feel loved,
Wanted again.
I wish I could say that for more than a few.
But I'm content if it's just you.
Your hands, they leave me breathless
Your kisses, they leave me wanting more
Your love, it makes me crave you
in a million different forms.

Kisses from an angel

Love like a fire
and we're feeding the flame

Desire and passion
Lava is our blood

Bodies one on one
Intertwined

You lie to me
but call me a friend
You lie to her
and call her a friend
Friends don't lie,
pal.
Something trivial
Something dumb
Another lie
slips your tongue
Why do you fib?
Why do you pretend?
What is the truth
Do you even trust us?
I've known you for years
but yet
I'm
not good enough
for you
to tell the truth to

I can't stop crying
I've cried for days
and I'm not talking a few tears
I mean to the point my head hurts
and I want to rip my eyes out of my head
Music isn't helping
Chocolate isn't healing
Sleeping isn't comforting
Because you don't leave my dreams

I know it's my fault.
I deleted you today,
in a fit of rage,
honestly.
Finally admitted why I did what I did
Never thought it'd hurt all this much
Couldn't take seeing you today
I feel shattered
and broke again
even if it was only a few minutes
I can't stop shaking still
No matter how hard I try

I'm sorry for all these things
I'm sorry I made you feel the way I did,
just know that you aren't.
You were always the one who did.
You were the reason I got up most days.
I know I never told you that,
I never acted like that,
but I told you why.

I know you found something else
they're not going to hurt you.
They'll make you happy.
They're not me.
They'll be who you need.
They're not going to **** up like I do.
They'll be the ones worth it.

Just promise me
that you'll be happy
no matter how much I break,
I'll eventually be okay
Not soon, maybe, but I'll be someday....

Vagabond of the heart
Always wandering, searching for
Love. Bless the heart of the
Exuberant lover whom thought.
No love to find here, nomad, no love.
To where you go, oh vagabond?
In the years I've known you, you've
Never found love.
Even then, you're still searching, old and weary.

We are held down
by chains of fear
we seem to think we should be picture perfect
but perfection is just an idea
it isn't real
we don't realize we are our own saviours
we could have the world in our hands
and we do
we have our own world
it is ours,
we are people
we are the only determining point of our lives
we control us
we're not all the same
but sometimes?
You have to break chains
punch your fear in the gut
walk on
whether you're alone or not

A sweet embrace in the kitchen,
A stolen kiss in the hallway
A head buried in a chest on Thursday
With a peck on the forehead

I love you a little more each day
with the small things,
the sweet things you say.
Your little giggle,
on a cold December day,
warms up my heart
and makes me wild

The way you touch me,
it drives me insane.
Leaves my mind whirling
like a hurricane.
Teases, whispered words
Hickeys show territory
Sweet kisses leaving marks
Moans filling your ears

I love you more and more each day
for all things things you do and say,
I hope you see
just how much you mean to me
A freestyle poem tugs at your heart,
because we are a poem,
barely past the start.
Words with a story to tell
but only we know the meaning
we keep our hearts beating
We are a poem
Perverse, joyous, in love
We are a poem
without a means to an end
we are a poem,
only just began.

Part of me wants to believe
that I'm important,
more important than the dirt we walk on
Part of me says that
I'm the equivalent of the grass
that is shredded in the lawnmower
Which am I?
It depends
maybe on the day,
maybe on the person
but to me
I'm just the wind blowing
on a cold day
that freezes your nose
and numbs your heart
I'm the kind of person
that you don't want to be.
the kind of person
that cries over everything.
The kind of person
that wants to believe she's good
but doesn't feel like she is
Tries, tries, tries but isn't
Who am I?
Who are you?
I'm a whisper
in the night,
overlooked.

i just wanna know why
why i'm never good enough
for anything, for anyone
why am i always the selfish one
why can't i just want to make myself happy
why do i devote myself to fixing people
that don't care if i'm anywhere close to whole
why do i live my life to other's expectations
i'm feel like i'm living someone else's life
i'm living for someone else
and i just don't feel happy
or whole or loved or appreciated or
hell,
i don't feel ******* real
and i really just don't know why.

I'm curled up to a pillow
wishing it was you
Grasping my own hand
wishing it was yours
tears streaming down my face
****, I miss you.
I have a big bag of chocolate kisses,
but they don't compare to yours.
I can't sleep at all without you.
I'm lost in empty thoughts
and broken promises
wishing you were here
wishing you were still just a daydream away
wishing the thought of you was my simple comfort
but it's not enough
I'm downing coffee like it's water
trying to **** the fatigue
need to go to a doctor,
and you begged me to
but I still haven't yet

The words don't come out correctly,
forever lodged in my throat,
in my mind,
never to leave,
stuck inside.
There's so many things I'd love to say,
but I'm too scared to force them out.
Only on a site full of strangers,
will my words come out,
incorrectly,
not the message I want to send,
not the way I want to say things,
but still, they come out to mingle
and meet new friends.
I'm too shy,
too scared of being noticed,
hide in the back of the room,
wrapped in a black jacket
and face hid,
words forming in your windpipe
sitting there,
choking you,
but you just can't get them out.

I'm too nice,
in the cruelest way.
I know I'm only making you happy now,
and when you're happy without me,
i'll up and disappear out of your life.
No warning,
no explanation
You'll just be one less
A candle,
that I helped light,
then the match dropped away

I want us to be two people
Separate spirits, but together in form.
but all we do is fight,
argue,
I mess up all the time,
maybe it would be better if we weren't,
if we didn't have each other
so scared to lose
everyone has told me
you're no good  for me
and I'm no good for you,
any eye could see.
I have more to say,
not the words to say it with
nor the soul to let them out
I'm a mess that won't be cleaned
that keeps getting worse,
I'm a problem that has no answer,
I'm a nightmare that never ends
I don't see how you love me
I'm not sure why
For as hell has it's fire,
I am a **** up
I am indecisive
Confusing, annoying, hateful, worthless
I'm no more than dirt on the ground
Everyone else leaves, why won't you,
Anyone can see why you should
You know the best of anyone
You see why people leave
more than anyone.

You are the sun
and she is the moon
two opposites
and never meant to be

I am the tides
and you are the waves
together we are one,
and forever will we stay

you are the grass on a summer night,
I am the fireflies lighting the sky
glistening off you is dew
tears of a night that's too long for I

you are the heart
and I am the blood
you are the purpose of me

You know,
    I've been thinking
Maybe a little too much
but you realize
people don't care if you leave
people don't care if you disappear
people don't need you
you don't need anyone
You break your own heart sometimes
You make mistakes
and they all see
and they all leave
and when you're alone,
after you think,
you see.
Loneliness is a place
to recollect yourself
even somewhere you don't want to be
even if you don't want to
it's a slow trek,
a long and winding road.
You'll make it though.
Even if you don't think you will
and when you're left with no hope,
just keep going...
you'll find something.
eventually.

"You can't write."
Yes, I can
I'm writing now
Whether it's good or not,
I don't care.
If you like it,
do it,
chase it,
achieve it,
don't let anyone take your happiness from you.
If it makes you happy,
that's all that matters.
You don't have to be discouraged
you can do whatever you want to.

Getting told you can't do something,
or you're bad at it,
it can be crushing.
there's always going to be someone
that doesn't find you to be
their cup of tea
and that's alright,
you don't have to be.
Besides, not everyone likes tea.
You're not going to be perfect,
that doesn't exist.
It's a dream that we will never reach.
Stop chasing something that is just a myth.
You're you, that's okay