A pile of letters,
all sealed with a kiss.
A boy in a bathroom,
slitting his wrists...
A girl in a closet,
a gun to her head...
A boy on a bridge,
one jump intill he's dead...
A girl in the bathtub,
holding her breath...
They all were happy children,
awaiting their death......

i wish i could talk to you
          as i used to
when i didn't worry about what i said
and could speak with ease
when my words flowed to you
like quiet rivers
flowing to the ocean
i wish i could be around you
          as i used to
when i would melt at your side
rather than flinch at your accidental touch  
when your embrace felt like more of a home
than the house i lived in
i wish i could be yours
          as i used to

s.s

I miss you something awful
and it hurts real bad.
Today I cried because I realized
You'll never want me back
I'm a mess, I'm a project:
I am charity work you took on.
You loved me and I you,
But in a blink you were gone.
Now I feel like a part of me's missing
Because it liked you more.
I guess I didn't realize
You and I were at war.
Well baby, you win
To the victor do the spoils go.
You have my heart still
And my promise isn't broke.
You're beautiful; spectacular
Please don't change a thing.
I love you, you wonderful man,
Even though to you I am nothing

do you ever feel
that life isn't right
that things are not the way they're supposed to be
you look around and the world is
distorted
dull
different
but you can’t do anything to fix it

no matter how hard you try

s.s

it is overwhelming
the ache in my chest
it breaks apart my insides
leaving happiness oppressed
and the voices they whisper
but elevate to screams
stealing me from sleeping
or invading my dreams
and i'm doing my best
to put up a fight
but the voices are stronger
and they've won for tonight

s.s

chaos erupts like a fire inside my mind
self destructive habits roaming my brain like a familiar terrain
I have become acquainted to the lack on control I have over my mind
i want control, but my body has given up trying to fight the demons inside
I am tired, I am scared.
I am not mine, I am my mind’s.

emptiness fills my body
the nothingness spreads throughout my bloodstream
a sense of numb starts to become apparent in my brain, almost as if my body is preparing to die