she wasn't the sun to my sky
she was the air in my lungs.

she wasn't my heart and soul
she was the blood in my veins.

she wasn't the only person i've ever loved
but was the only person i would've killed for.

sometimes i get headaches
i get them often
very often
sometimes she gives them to me
sometimes i give them to myself
nevertheless, my head gets lit on fire
it feels like the more i over-think
the more my head hurts
the more i push her away
the more i can't sleep
the more unstable i am, the more my head can't take it
these headaches are killing me
killing me softly
killing me slowly
i have no pills left in the bottle
tonight might be the night
a headache takes me away for good

i don't sleep anymore
somewhere along the lines
my thoughts went past the margin
and refused to stop

late at night
i am swallowed whole
by my past, by the unknown
which creep inside my core

i hope this won't last
but it has been some years
since i last slept like a baby
and woke up feeling fresh

i need you like i need water
like i need oxygen
like i need food
like i need shelter
does that tell you
how much you mean to me?
does it?

do not kiss me
unless you will miss me
you better cry every night
and cry every morning
when i am not around
i want it to hurt
in your chest
in your veins
that i am not around
do not kiss me
unless you will miss me
because once i have you
the tears will roll like waves
the pain will blitz like linebackers
once i have you

she lost herself
in a boy who loves himself
more than he loves her

a boy who needed to please
more than one girl
immaturity at its finest

when she lost herself
she couldn't find herself again
when he left for good

she became a shell
of her former self
now she was nothing
but flesh and a broken heart

she longed for him
to come back to her
and make her feel alive again
because now she was dead inside

she didn't fall in love
she ran headfirst into it, with tremendous speed
and no caution at all
unaware of who she was giving her heart to

now the lost girl
somewhere out on a swing set
where they spent long nights together
is imploding, while swinging back and forth

You will make many mistakes
You will get your heart broken
You will wish you were dead
You will lose your mind
You will love again
And again and again
You will come back for more
You will always come back for more
Love is like fast food

one plus one
equals two
but one heart
plus another one
equals magic
so trust love
it trusts you
so embrace love
it embraces you
so love love
it loves you

she is broken
mentally, not physically
you can see the pain
in her eyes
you can hear the pain
in her voice
you can taste the pain
in her tears
you can feel how broken she is
without touching her
lies made her cautious
broken thoughts made her bitter
love made her fall
loss made her crash

all we can do
is love each other
and never stop
because love is all we have
love is the adhesive
to our mosaic
without love
we are as good as dead
without love
we are finished

if your heart
no longer leaps and lurches
when i am near
then tell me

if my heart
no longer dances and dives
when you are with me
i will tell you

love is the fire
buried inside of us
that makes us fight for one another
and makes us act so crazy, from time to time
but mostly all of the time

I did not sleep last night
Sleep means dreaming
Dreaming means you
You mean pain
Pain of the past
I will sleep tonight
Sleep means remembering
Remembering means you
You mean pain
Pain is my addiction

my girl?
she is like lighting
deadly and quick

my girl?
she's beautiful
on the inside and the outside

my girl?
she has a big heart
if you had to draw it to scale
it would be the size of mars

my girl?
she laughs at everything
which makes me laugh at everything

my girl?
she is precious
like blood diamonds

my girl?
she is insecure
always critiquing herself
it breaks my heart

my girl?
she knows what she wants in life
and how she will get it
independent, to say the least
determined, would be the understatement of the century

my girl?
she keeps me happy
while i keep her happier

my girl?
she is far from perfect
but she is everything i could ever want

my girl?
she is asleep right now
i think i will send her a message
telling her why she makes my heart
act like a banshee in my ribcage

there is very little
in this world that i care about
this is my reality
she is my moon
my family are my stars
my dreams are as big as the ocean
and i shine like the sun
my thoughts are like planets
gigantic and light years away
i never see them
but i know they are up there
i just know it

I'm not mad
At you anymore
I've realized that it's my fault
For not taking care of you
But your fault for cheating
I've realized that I'll love you
Forever and ever
Because love never goes away
It just leaves scars

pick up the pieces of your heart

retrieve some glue and duct tape

because it's time to get to work

and it's time to stop sulking

you are the only person who can

pull yourself and keep yourself up

repair your heart, repair yourself

until your heartbeat isn't irregular

and breathing becomes easy again

you can make it, you will make it

believe that things will be better

and eventually they will be

if you never stop believing

today is the first day
of the rest of our lives
me and you, girl
lets hold hands
and never let go
lets promise to never leave
no matter how hard it gets
no matter what
lets promise to never give up
we can't be another statistic
we can't be a part of the 50%
no how, no way
so until we get arthritis
lets hold hands
and never let go
until death do us part

i like the moon
more than the sun
no offense to the sun
but the moon is less arrogant
it is subtle
and doesn't feel the need
to let everyone in the world know
that it is the greatest thing since sliced bread
the moon goes to work
when the sun leaves its shift
it does its job, effortlessly
then slips away slowly
as the sun begins bragging again

all we have is tonight
we have no time left
lets explore
lets make love
while we still can
because the clock is ticking
and my heart is
doing the charleston
while trying to breakdance
and all i can think about
is how i might never see you again
and how that will affect me
and if it will even affect you
i never know why
but i never think the person i love
really loves me
and they never think
that i love them
even though i would do anything
just to see them smile
just to hear them laugh
even if all we have is tonight
even if there is no time left

thoughts of the future scare me
always have, always will
how can they not?
never knowing when it's my turn to go
when it's my turn to leave earth
not knowing if i will see old age
not knowing if my dreams will come true
it scares me like nothing else
the future is a mystery
today is a burden
yesterday was hell
i don't know where i am anymore

i'm obsessed with you
but that's the best kind of love
in my opinion
i feel like if someone
isn't obsessed with the person they love
then they really don't care
about them at all

somewhere along the lines
everyone became a stranger
or became an enemy
i'm not good with people
never have been
never will be
which makes it hard
for me to keep people in my life
but i don't force anyone to leave
they find their own way out
and they never ever return
which is fine by me
because i still have myself

Do not
Forget your coat
It is a cold world
Out there
And people are not
As friendly as they seem

Those who have
a hard exterior
Have been
In a war
Either with themselves
Or with someone else
They know what the gates of hell look like
Proceed with caution
Extreme caution

rain falls
like waterfalls
from dark clouds
rain falls
like tears
from the sky
shedding tears
for misery, for pain
for unsolved problems, broken marriages
abandoned children and homeless people
rain falls
like waves
washing the world

maybe i should
ask her to marry me
she is all i think about
i would die if i didn't have her
when i wake up
she is the first person i think about
before i shut my eyes at night
i see her in the dark
i see her in my heart
and in my soul
i will never let her go
i hope she is ready
because lord knows
i have been ready
for so long

we try to play numb
to our thoughts and feelings
like there's a chance
they will leave us alone
as if they will disappear
if we try to avoid them
but they never will
they have no days off on their schedule
they make us who we are
they're parts of ourselves no one can see
at night
during the day
every second
every minute
every hour
we can't avoid ourselves, our minds
we can't escape the mirrors, the reflections
we can't be numb, and refuse to ever feel

i didn't know
if i would ever see you again
and that put genuine fear in my soul
you were everything i wanted
and everything i needed
but the universe
had a different plan for us
and it took you away from me
but you weren't gone for good
the universe just created some distance
but we have made it work
through thick and thin
through hellfire and high-water
we haven't given up on each other
which isn't shocking
because we have both been given up on
so we know what it feels like
to be left in the dirt
with tears streaming down our faces
and love in our hearts
for someone who doesn't care that it's there
we met each other
after we had both been through
relationships that ended catastrophically
and we worked hard to reverse our thoughts
about love and life
and we have fought every day
to reverse the way our broken hearts beat

i messed up before
it was the right person
but the wrong time
she was beautiful
from her head to her toes
she was everything to me
and she was the right person
but it was the wrong time for me
i didn't know then
what i know now
i didn't know how to handle
a delicate person
i didn't know how to take my ego
and put it away for a while
i didn't know
that you have nurture love
not ignore it
and hope it will stick around

i keep on running

from people and priorities

and what really scares me

isn't what i am running from

but what i could end up crashing into

because the faster i run

and the farther i go

the more i lose connection with

who i am and what i want to do

and being swallowed by fear

is a fate worse than death

she affects me
like music does
i get the same feeling
while talking to her
that i get when
i put my headphones on
and drift away
never to return

Sands near the sea

Fill my mind

Like beaches

While storms tear

Through my happiness

And destroy my smile

Until there is nothing

But sand and seashells

Near waves in my eyes

the stars
in the sky
are screaming at us
to shine like they do
but we refuse to
we make ourselves small
we don't let others
see our light
we are afraid of ourselves

pain lets
you know
that you
are alive
it is
the only
thing you
can feel
everything else
is just
smoke and
sesame seeds

How long they choose to stay with you
Will never be your decision
Nor will you ever have a say in the matter
They will leave you, if they want to
They will hurt you, if they want to
They will cheat on you, if they want to
They will love you forever, if they want to
They will make you feel so alone, if they want to
They will show you how much they say they care, if they want to
They will fight for you, if they want to
They will make you feel wanted, if they want to
None of that will ever be your decision
Nor will you ever have a say in the matter
Shackles are for slaves
Not for lovers

she cries tears
that hit the ground like hale
splitting the earth
like the most monstrous boulders would

tears fall every night
thoughts of him fill her head
while she tries to sleep
but she can't

her heart aches more and more
and as time goes on
the pain doesn't go away
she knows moving on takes time
but time is killing her slowly

She didn't remember who she was
Before they told her who to be
And what to wear, and how to act
She had no recollection at all

Society placed her in a cage
But not before beating her down
Until there was nothing left
But a lost girl
Who followed trends
Who feared being herself
Who hated herself
And became addicted to fitting in
And staying in

she was like snow

beautiful, but cold

even in the summer

especially, in the heat

she was like snow

so beautiful, yet so cold

even when her heart healed

especially, when it broke again

she is my life
so if i ever lose her
i will die
a horrible prolonged death
somewhere on this campus
they will find my body
under a bush
or behind a bike rack
i will be motionless
i will be breathless
i will be loveless
if i ever lose her
i will be lifeless
because she is my life
and everything she does
affects me like nothing else

I caused the tears
To stream down her face
And wet her shirt

My mistakes are piling up
Higher and higher and higher
And I don't think she can take it anymore

Soon, I will be a distant memory
Soon, I will be her past
As she look towards a bright future
Without me
Without us
Without this

Even on your worst day
You shine like a thousand suns
If only you knew
How blinded I am
By how flawless you are
And why every syllable
I utter about you is the truth
When I describe you
From your head to your toes
I am speaking from the basement
Of my heart
Where I house memories
Of our first nights together
And our last nights
Where I fell in love
With your laugh
And the way you know yourself
Better than I know myself
And at night I pray
You never lose that spark
Deep inside of you
That caused a spark to ignite in me
Which will burn in my heart
And travel through every crevice
Of my soul
Until my heart has had enough
And suddenly stops on a dime
Never to beat again
For you
Or myself

We let love wrap its hands
Around our necks
And watch us squirm for air
While it asked us
"Will you both be faithful?"
"Do you know each other's fears?"
"Do you know each other's favorite colors?"

We let love crush our throats
Until the only breath we had left
Was to ask
"Forever?"

Realize you have no time
You are running out
Every single day that passes
Is one you will never get back
Start making your dreams come true
Start living
And stop just existing
Start making yourself happy
Start making friends
Start being yourself
And stop hiding who you are
Before you know it you will be dead
Realize you have no time
Realize you only have death
That is the only certainty in life
Start living
Because you already started dying
And you have no time

the people who i used to laugh with
don't look at my face anymore
they don't look into my eyes
the same people i used to eat with
don't care if i'm starving
the same people i used to spend all night with
don't care if i'm alive or dead
i guess that's how it is
people act like they love you
but then act like they never knew you

stay back, stay away
walk away from my core
i will never let anyone in again
the last time i did
it ended in disaster
and i'll be ******
if i have to repair my heart again
so stay back, stay away
walk away from my core
it will remain closed
tomorrow, the day after
for the month, who knows

we collided that night
and caused a supernova
since then, it has been hell or heaven
no in between, no turning back
i want this forever
not just for a year or two
and i think you do too
but forever is a long time
and we don't know what forever looks like
but we know that people change
and feelings sometimes fade
i hope ours don't
i hope we fall for each other every day
like raindrops on window panes
like leaves from tall trees
like tears from newborn babies
i hope we fall, but never falter
because that fire in my soul
is alive and well
since we caused that supernova
i've been burning inside for you
and i just hope you have
the same sensation in your organs
i can only hope you feel the same way
and if you don't, i'll understand, i'll swallow it
like prescription pills

weather is changing
for better, or worse

and i am changing
for better, or worse

days are turning darker
nights are getting colder

and i am growing numb
to everyone, everything

soon i shall be giving thanks
in a few days time

to the people who never left
and places which molded me

i will not be eating turkey
most likely, i will eat Chinese food
by myself, somewhere in this city

but i will give thanks
i must
shouldn't i?

to everyone who has stayed in my life
and every place that carved me out of stone

that will be my thanksgiving
that will be all
that will be it for me, this year

i will annoy you
until the day i die
i will be more annoying
than you are
i will be the best boyfriend
you have ever seen
i will be the best boyfriend
this world has ever seen
because i will not stop annoying you
i will not stop kissing you
i will not stop calling you
i will not stop texting you
i will not stop telling everyone about you
never ever, ever ever

Being faithful
Is not hard
Apparently, neither is being stupid
The choice is yours
Stay faithful
Or stay single

it was never time
for me to let go of you
you forced me to
by fleeing to someone else
when i showed you
no affection
and showed you little to no love
so to this day
and for this feeling i have  
i wonder if the fault
is in my stars or yours
because you could have left
instead of destroying my trust
and destroying the thought of loving you
by sleeping with someone else
and making me hate myself for so long
that i never thought i would
ever love myself again
but in retrospect, i understand
i would not stay with someone
who wouldn't take care of me either

hearts don't break even

they have jagged edges

blood lost, love lost

so much is lost

when trust leaves the room

and resentment takes its place

right by the fireplace while

you are pulling your hair out

because it happened again

you lost yourself

while simultaneously losing your lover

and you would rather sit in the fireplace

than wake up tomorrow

and realize it didn't have to end this way

but it did end this way

because you didn't throw

your ego in the fireplace