I think I've gone and got myself addicted
To sadness, to desperation, to tragedy
Broken, aching hearts
Twisted stories
Heart-wrenching songs
Poems wrapped in darkness

I think... I think it helps
Maybe it makes it all worse
But I like it
I don't feel so alone
When I'm surrounded
When I stuff myself
With external tragedy
So that my own demons
Don't get lonely

Whenever the beginning starts
It all gets ****** up

Sadness bellowing out from my soul
I'm left in the cold

If its another's doing- I have no clue
Everyone walks in twos

First meetings go unhinged
Burrowing into my heart

I notice when they all leave

tears slipping from shut satin lids
curled up body exposed to the cold
deflation pumping slowed veins
it hurts so much- to know he
never felt the same
I sit and I remember those days
days I allowed myself to feel
I was naive- I was spontaneous
I somehow tripped into a pond
that was two inches deep
yet I drowned in first love
and choked as it killed me

I get my feelings hurt almost everyday
Everyday- a minuscule trait is extracted and projectile vomited into my face
Melting into my brain- no one wants me, okay

I thought you you and you would prove me wrong
Yet here I am- bets placed- winning the losing game
Its such a shame- that I'm to blame
For even imagining their words to bear fruit
Shriveled trees adorn my lawns- roots nestled into my core
How many more- corpsed trunks will I need
To painstakingly gouge from my soul
Tears cemented into the blades that dig deeper
How much more decay will I be dealt with upon jaded horizons
Lottery rigged for all who maintain their lawns
Before I lose- before I'm wrong of how vile men truly are

I wanna fall apart into pretty pieces
Scattered in your palm
Blown in your face and shoved down your throat
Choke on my glitter because I'm not okay Because of you
I wanna waltz in 4-lane traffic with you
Twirl and extend me into the path of an oncoming semi
Bite your finger off and stir my drinks with it
I wanna fall apart because I know you'll leave me in pieces