I wanna fall apart into pretty pieces
Scattered in your palm
Blown in your face and shoved down your throat
Choke on my glitter because I'm not okay Because of you
I wanna waltz in 4-lane traffic with you
Twirl and extend me into the path of an oncoming semi
Bite your finger off and stir my drinks with it
I wanna fall apart because I know you'll leave me in pieces

It's the midnight depression
chilling and stifling
stale in taste and pale in sight
lofty air clutching at your throat
legs swimming in hot sheets
electric static ringing your ears
spit hard to swallow
mind buzzing with vengeance

How do I get over something that never happened
But manifested from within a beautiful thought that snowballed me to death
Its lonely here- without even a tangible memory
It was never real- I made it all a fairytale
It dissolved when you brought me back to reality
Disillusioned and mistaken- I still rock back n' forth two years later
All I've been battered with surmounts into colossal tons
Weighs me down as I try to get over
Get over something that was only real to me
Was only real to me
It was too pretty to throw away so now I carry the curse
And I sit beneath the moon making the same mistakes

For as cold as I am
I crave heat

I saw it all with lightning fast details
It struck my heart and made it start
I suddenly learned to breath
You held me close and snapped my neck
Day after day I wept
I knew so little of your kind
I should have stayed in line
But I want to hold you face and give you the world
Even if I lose my own
The the day you left me I bled out in the street
I didn't know till too late- why did I try to rush fate
Or is god so cruel that I will never have you
And that's all Ive wanted all this time

It's hard.
Everything is so difficult.
I feel myself bending for others.
Yet not good enough because I didn't break myself for them.
I am all too much for others.
They ***** me out of their systems and purge their life of me.
As I try once more to enter their life.
I'm a passing dust speck to most.
A fly to others.
Swipe me away on another crushing day.
No one is wanted by me as much as he who I am hunting after.
He exists for fragments.
Melts away in the wind.
Slips from my grasp because of all I am is what I lack.