theinvincible: Favorites

Oct 2014 theinvincible

I Failed You (and I'm scared I'll bury you)

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Helen

I Failed You (and I'm scared I'll bury you)

took a phone call today
please come and talk to me
got in the car, drove to you
and you said to me

I'm not right, I feel it in my head
I've got no one else, I've got no friends
I can't talk to you, I don't know where to begin
please, just talk to me

I talk about nothing as I watch your tears
I speak about idiocies and unrelenting fears
I whispers entreaties that drive me insane
I sit and silently know... I'm to blame

each revelation, besides the last
leaves me gasping, struggling to breathe
each time you say I can't talk about it
gives me another reason to believe

It's
my
fault

this is my shame

my horror is I walked away
knowing you were on your own
you sent me away
like a dog with a bone

with no meat on it

I don't have a clue
whats really eating you

except I could only say
*whatever you are thinking
Suicide is NOT the way

actual events today... I'm terrified and weepy and just, ****...!

Oct 2014 theinvincible

And I'll Cross My Fingers

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Q

And I'll Cross My Fingers

I'll write a letter
To those who matter
Because, though I won't be there to see
I want to imagine the faces of those
Who I'm not writing to.

I'll write a note to him because he still intrigues me
It'll be a cowardly note that says everything I couldn't
And I'll cross my fingers when I open my veins,
I'll pray he didn't care for me
I'll pray it doesn't hurt him
Because he doesn't deserve it.

I'll write a note to her because she's his
And he's hers and that still hurts me somedays
And because I love her like I love him:
In a million, million ways.
And I'll cross my fingers when I open my veins
I'll pray she's enough to get him to stay
I'll pray she doesn't care so she'll be okay.

I'll write a note to her because she birthed me
And I'll explain the importance of contraception
And I'll tell her I don't blame her and give absolution
And then take it back in the next sentence.
And I'll cross my fingers when I open my veins
I'll pray she hurts until she can barely breath
In the same breath, I'll pray she forgets me
And uses the rest of her life to be as free as she wanted to be.

I'll write a note to him because he's my sister
And I'll explain the way I hate him and do hate him
And I'll explain the way I never stopped feeling the rage
Of every single wrong he did me over the years
And then I'll forgive him because he doesn't need me to
And I'll cross my fingers when I open my veins
That he'll understand the simplicity and importance of tact
I'll pray that he gets everything he wants in life
I'll pray he understands why I couldn't wish that
While there was still air in my lungs.

I'll write a note to him because I hate him and I love him
And it'll explain the way child abuse lingers for years
And it'll say how much I wanted to see his grave before my own
And it'll say how I never wanted to see anyone live forever besides him
And it'll explain how he hurt me by withholding unconditional love
It will explain how little I cared after the first decade crept by
And I'll cross my fingers when I open my veins
And I'll turn over to pray
I'll pray he gets what he's due
I'll pray he finally dies
I'll pray he gets some happiness
And I'll do it all in one word: Why?

Those are the notes I'd write.
No one else I'd explain to.
Those are the people who've impacted my life.
If I keep death bare and simple.
I'm not crying this time.
I'm not just on the brink, about to go
I'll think, just as I always do
But there's no indecision anymore.
This is not a place I want to be
Not a life I want to live
But I still have a single ambition
I've still got one last wish.

So I'll do it.
I can be my own shooting star.
I'll get that last dream done
And open a vein? Or step in front of a car?
When I'm done with that I'll write a will
Containing three items:
Burn all my stories and poetry, delete my existence
Cremate my body, funerals are too expensive.
Be honest in my death, express your abhorrence.

Oct 2014 theinvincible

NOTE on the Class Notice Board

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Raj Arumugam

NOTE on the Class Notice Board

Dear Algebra Teacher -
stop asking us to find
your X
We can’t help you
if you mess it up

Next time, treat your partner nice
so you don’t have
to bring your personal problems
to class

So stop asking us to find your X;
we don’t know if you’ll ever find her
and we got a feeling your X
is never coming back
and really - before you ask -
we don’t know Y either

poem based on a joke I recently noticed and enjoyed online

Oct 2014 theinvincible

I visited your page

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Raj Arumugam

I visited your page

I visited your page
to read your poems
(I thought you'd like to know)
but they were so lost
in a very long list of poems
by so many other poets
and so down and down I went
digging and digging
to find you
in your page
but hey, it was too much bother
(yes, you can take me to task for it)
diving so deep to find you
so I just aborted and clicked away

Don't blame me - I can only hold my breath
for so long when I go free-diving;
and if I dig too long, I get a bad back

I thought you might like to know

#poets #page

Oct 2014 theinvincible

the tragicomedy of it's and its

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Raj Arumugam

the tragicomedy of it's and its

herein I tell the tale of how "it's" and "its" entered into a suicide pact, and how I counselled them, and saved them from certain death

1
in fair paper and screens
where our sins mostly lie
there were born two asterik-crossed lovers:
it's and its
and though they did not die
they did marry
and they begot a child
the second it's -
though it has a life of its own

2
But in the hands of so many
were "it's" and "its" abused,
it was no longer funny
One said: *"The dog missed it's master"
(and people wondered if the dog is the master)
and another advised: "Seize the bull by it's horns"
and while many stood distracted by the meaning
the bull ****** its horns deep into their posteriors

And so were "it's" and "its" driven to woe
that they made a suicide pact
and I was commissioned to counsel them:
"Listen, it's the age of the
you're for your
there for their
(and vice-versa)
and people are no longer who but that;
an age in which people think an apple
is something you poke at"

And thus were it's and its consoled
and in my wisdom of the ages, I continued:
"Besides you've got your baby it's (it has) to think of"

3
And so it is I saved "it's" and the "its"
for our noble English Language,
turned comic what would have been tragic -
but what matters it anyway
when people still mess up the two
just as we mess up the earth
and misuse beliefs and religion

1) it's = it is 2) it's = it has (It's been a long time since we last met.)

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Nightfall

Oct 2014 theinvincible

EJ Aghassi

Nightfall

I know that when
it comes down to it

I'll find you in every town

in every bar
in every museum

you'll order a drink
I don't come by too often

and I will compare you to
those you can't compare to

and you will win

I'll hear ocean waves when you breathe

I'll smell lust
freedom
adventure

I'll see the sun set in your hair

and you is a number
the number of those that make
me feel like you do

the limitless number of
uniquely lovable individuals

the creatures of dreams

the things that make hearts flutter
minds crumble and scream

but keep the mouth smiling

and the mind will think
only of those you(s)

because every one of them is lovable

every single one is everything

every one is YOU, specifically

everything after this will all be
you

and there's never been anything more beautiful than YOU

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Don't Bother

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Sharde' Fultz

Don't Bother

One day you'll be sitting there
Thinking about me.
And I'll be somewhere,
Doing the exact same thing,
Thinking about me.

#love #late #selfish #free #selfless #unappreciated

Oct 2014 theinvincible

pregnant writer about to give birth

Oct 2014 theinvincible

Raj Arumugam

pregnant writer about to give birth

so I brought my writer wife
(prominently pregnant)
to the hospital
and on her bed, she screamed:
"weren't" "hasn't" "couldn't" "shan't"
"aint" "hadn't" "you're" "isn't"
"aren't" "didn't" "wasn't"
"who's?" "what's?" "he's" "she's"

The doctors were confounded
and they turned to me and they said:
"What the hell is she doing?"

And I replied with double speed
and a violent sense of urgency:
*"Don't you know?
She's having contractions -
she's a writer"