Manic pixie dream girl,
I was some type of cliche
To most.

A starter pack to teach about
How to and how to not
Love,
I was used
As a lesson.

This is right,
This is wrong,
And this is the way
You drive her away.

I was a first,
Never the last.

I never want to
Come in first again.

And it's too much
Too much
This memory,
Who are you to say
What I can and cannot feel,
Who are you to judge my decision
Of getting better?

Get out of my head
Get out of my head
Get out of my head,
I don't want to remember
Anything before or after
December.

And it was my fault
My fault
My fault
The demons in my head eat away at me,
You used his death as a reason to live,
And it didn't destroy you that you couldn't help him,
The way it still eats me up inside.

My birthday isn't mine anymore,
But I didn't want it anyway.
I don't want it anyway
I don't want it anyway.

I was just some type of
"Unattainable"
Pixie dust spilling
Freak of nature
Girl.

And it kills me
That I wasn't human,
Rather some type of hispter writer's
First work,
On a girl he never got to be with,
And I was sadly
Attached and intoxicated
By the toxins that were you two.

I'd rather cut open my flesh,
And bleed the venom out,
Than remember you anymore.

You can't control me
Anymore,
I'm just the bird whose wings you tried to break,
And I'm flying away
I'm flying away
I'm flying away.

It's too much,
Too much
Too much
Too much
The mistakes I made.

I hate remembering
Being reminded
Constantly
That the mistake I made
Was you.

Loving you was a mistake,
Falling into pressure
Was a mistake.

And how do I live
With these sins I've committed
Against my own self?

(It's too much, I can't breathe here now/What can breathing do to change the past?)

Regret rips me apart,
And I'm glad I've found him now,
But I hate who I was and decisions I made.