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Grimmest  Apr 2016
A Bipolar Mind
Grimmest Apr 2016
(A)ltered

(B)oisterous
(I)rrational
(P)anic
(O)ver-reactive
(L)o­ws
(A)shamed
(R)ollercoaster

(M)ental
(I)mpulsive
(N)on-existent
(D)esperate

The mind is lost on a raft to nowhere...
kenye May 2013
I keep seeing hints of you
  In forced synchronicity
   Where everything adds up to 5
    Maybe it's a sign
     Or I'm losing my ******* mind again

     Did you catch the hint?
    Is the madman manifesting?
   Impulsive manic mood swings to paper
  Filling out with the Full Moon
As the Maiden waxes away

I'm watching
  Light up my sacral bond
   Lightning strikes
    like shotgun blows to the sky
     A peephole into Heaven's locker room

     Blame it on the the rain
    You caught me off guard
   Out of sync
  Girl you know it's true
That we're stranger than fiction

My siren in the satire
  Muse in the mayhem of my mind
   I could be your Vonnegut
    As I'm Freudian slipping
     On my spilled guts in the 5th slaughterhouse
or so it goes...
Jaimee Michelle Dec 2013
A-ngry
B-roken
C-lumsy
D-enial
E-nvious
F-ear
G-reedy
H-umilated
­I-gnored
J-ealous
K-akorrhapiophobia
L-onely
M-anic
N-ervous
O-bs­essed
P-estimistic
Q-uitter
R-egret
S-orry
T-ormented
U-gly
V-ain­
W-orried
X-treme
Y-earning
Z-apped
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2021
what should, could... what one would otherwise
do-not-do...
when language policing is so enforced
that i just... have to... punctuate a stutter or
at least suppose so on
a racial slur, a slurp-up stricken by ice,
and cold... and if lambs had elbows...
this modus operandi of post-colonial peoples
this crucifixion self-laceration
hard-on... which i want a taste of:
bad person, forever... murderer...
since there was no censor at work
around an added G: for giggle's worth...
and an existent R - although in english
there's no trill of it... no thrill, of it so...
nay bovver...
'aggis neeps 'n' tatties...
      otherwise the swede of the suede
is a bit like digesting blue & shoe...
once upon a time two bottles of wine
and i'd be off my rockers in
a little town in Essex where the women
are as fine as nuns and
sooner a cow-*****-******* for milk than...
Juan a-hey-presto... stand... night...
unbearable...
the less *** i've had the more
this... one-armed gambit does... the more...
of the trickery...
not overloading on the use
of a definite article...
but... it's so much easier to curl a hand
into a makeshift ******...
solipsistic *** lives... of... mostly men...
a bit like... regressing / seeing double...
homosexual ***-lives in literature from
the 20th century...
******* literature from the 20th century...
heterosexual antics of men
in the 21st century...
almost a: gleich scheiße,
           anders deckel...
                dekiel.... almost a loan word...
           living in close proximity of: zee schwaben
haben saschisch... aben aben...
perhaps the grammatical
juxtaposing is akin to ancient
Latin, my concern for: anders deckel
or deckel anders...
   same ****, different cover... cover's different...
overstating a fact with
a... conjunction or is it, is, the it...
preposition of... the it is is... Beckett's last
lunch... an hour of sunshine...
keep all chalky 'andy...
beside the apostrophe and the hyphen-conjugate...
glue's not glue:
blue is blue...
green is green...
but there's also... grue...
which is not... y'ella...

          a bluegreen: present grew:
for not yellow...

and i will... entertain... language policing...
over... slurring... past punctuation markers...
like... every time i see a choc-sensation...
no offense - you want the manure skin analogy...
because choc is counter-productive block...
well... let me get on my one remaining
good knee and play tongue the custard
for a Malcolm Noble...

     i would just hate to appease...
it's so ******* boring i'm turning into a boorish
**** of apathy...
by some lineage of argumentation
i've heard the lazy etymological
"argument" that...
from the Caucus... a ****-asian male...
the argument: Paul's a pole...
a pole a Paul's Paul...
            what's missing in... less than germ-
-anic...
                   like it's so simply
Slav(e)...

         less a ****** show & tell a whitey
clad in a bleached ghost necking-tie...
off-on-the-offensive...
   i.e. attack...
      there's a klaus nigge...
      a deutsche photographer...
there's... nigh-ger-ia...
            there's also a Nigh-Ger...
  giggle glutton... gargle... growing pains
in both groin... und gut...

cages i see cages i see tongues in iron
maidens i see souls in hell
and thoughts in limbo...

sound capture... i want to scoop some letters
as almost dead:

  ж = зъ = ż...
    imagine my disbelief at the lack of
orthographical aesthetic...
it only took a dot above the Z
to encourage...

perhaps in braille
perhaps in katakana:

         ⠛⠛⠗

         but letters as atoms of sound...
or methane...
ta-
         ma-
                      -ah
                                   -e contra -eh:
the tetragrammaton my vowel
catcher...
         no surprise of a fire...

hence the surd... like an apostrophe...
extending the saxon
spelling of words into compounds
in the field of chemistry...
a herr adams that wealth of the nations
shamed
jean-paul sartre... lived with his mother
because...

i'll have to leave it to stutter...
overtly punctuated...
no, no surprises...
it's a slur like it might be allowed
for urbanites
and listening to wap folk...
but no: wrap it up
on the horizon... already excluded...
so back to no drawing board...

spikes-up mein jerky chin of a Lee
and says: it's n'ah ah... LEAN...
****** my tongue is harsh but
not towing some unfathomable tie-up...
it's byzantine bilingual
but not... schizoid-teasing-afro-affluence...
like me taking a stab
at living in... h'almighty: Ghana...
visit... Raw-Andy... the Rwandese... plumber...

whereas the romantic affairs
of men are mostly... linear...
the romantic affairs of women
are... overbearingly... cyclic... thus...
what thus?

i'm strapped to a gimmick
and a pseudo expression of lingo...
i'm spineless... death-core....

replenishing the walking abortion(s)...
this ****-job of a man
this scrap heap of egg
and nullifying shells...
like this gargantuan homosexual
**** would never begin
or end with a flower-eater
quest for...
              a drunkard's ****, side...

there aren't enough hours in a day
to want to... beside having to...
listen to bbc radio 3...
once upon a time there was
me guilty of a radio 4 escapade...
but... where there's a t.v.
i'm pretty sure there's no fire-
                           -place....

like the old addition of curating
an attic space: might it be an "also"
cave... without ridicule...
underappreciated...
undermined... this tongue that
does the waggling...
like slurp majestic of floral pattern
*****... well...
i'm tired of the sort of freedom
thus, presented...

here comes the bundle... the bulge...
heaving criss-cross and X's
at the ha ha: stubble pin-point...
yahoo fro Idaho...
this whittle sort
of green patch of land 'n'
h'america..

    my yours truly...
       delving into shelved
secrecies of gluck-winding-back...
clock... there's the admiral...
the hour of our wait...
                the ice creasing a shallot being sliced...
the agony of the wait... the agony
of a yawn... the elongated

tears over an onion...
         if i could claim ownership
for a woman to deposit her
scrutiny of mortality...

yes, this shadow,
yes: this noon...
yes this dwarf of me in shadow grit
drifting toward an apart...

onions for the peel...
i tend to forget what and where
was... "fun"...
i'll hardly want to be left
having inherited
some variation of bias
with either children
or a grandiosity of grand-
   (angwy prefix lady said
so: sock 'em in)

        here's too, a forward...leisurerly
issued: from an Ottoman outpost...
i'm a bad man...
thought language police...
i'm a bad man...
i was inherently bad...
i'm bad i'm bad
i'm terribly... horridly...  anaemic... so...
self-lacerate moi...

cages in their 'eds...
language like afghan
******'s plenty..

better target practice with
those khaki attired
mustard clad foe...
to hell with the **-**-hoes...
i forget what's inclined by stressing
the dynamic of beta...
alpha resources...

as the crucified man said:
if i am not the alpha...
i'm not going to be
the BETA-BUCK-DELUX...

i'll be... last... omega.. "junction"...
yes... i'll be that... just that..
omega malph.
G Popovic Jul 2016
In the town of Višegrad,
Where he was born and raised,
From cradle to grave,
He took no respite,
In the disdainful looks
From the villagers and common folk.

It was they who spoke,
In hushed whispers and behind closed doors,
That he was not of their ilk,  
Half of some other blood,
Born from a land of scimitar and silk.

The janissary’s ******* son,
Conceived one night in the shepherd’s pasture,
Was one with dark ram’s hair,
And eyes akin to muddied alabaster.

One who delighted in the towering minarets,
Looming over the stone and brick in the Old City,
He hated the stench of pipes and cigarettes,
And thought Persian crimson quite pretty.

The calls of Qur’anic prayer in midday,
He thought of at morning mass,
Amid the cross, the hymns and prayers to saints,
Staring intently at the stained glass.

He brewed his coffee in kettles brass,
And supped it atop the kapiyah at night,
Dreaming fondly of a likewise dark-eyed lass,
Whose face made him blush at the sight.

He often wished to travel to Eastern lands,
And of these he wrote in poems short,
Those where he could find repose in shaded sands,
And in no Serb or Greek tongue find retort.
Kapiyah - Turkish; Pediment or platform
Lee Nov 2020
Gone are the days
Those glorious days of happiness
To what it may be
My own deceit
Destroying myself
Aseak my own hidden self
A raw being
An ugly sight
A truth I do not like
I'd torn love out of myself
Gone cold and void
Seeking Wisdom
Looking for peace
It wasn't there
Never could it be
Only in love
Anic
Lee  Aug 2020
My final trial
Lee Aug 2020
Today I wept
Amidst a thousand bodies
The smell of lavender
Brought only your scent
Then too
Your warmth
Your smile
Your hearbeat through your embrace
For the final time
I walk away to forget you
It's been months since we last spoke
A few days since I walked away
Yet still it feels like I loved you just yesterday
This moment forth
I can no longer let you riddle my mind
With this my last poem
Of you
Whom I loved so dearly
In such mysterious ways
Ways I could never understand
Ways I hope he loves you
Goodbye
Anic
A coward to have never said it to your face
I couldn't knowing you'd cry
I know you waited to see me
Before I'd left
I'll never forget your last word
"Hey"
As I'd walked away
Nor could I forget the look in your eyes
The pain and uncertainty
Just know it was never my plan to hurt you
I only ever wanted the best for you
By some miracle you read this someday
I did love you
You'll forever be
What I felt to be
The truest love
Of all time
Surely this the reason you're so hard to forget
Take care
I wish you well

Dearest Anic
Tu es un amour
Tu es léger
Tu es tout ce dont tu auras jamais besoin
With this I leave you my heart for I can no longer take it with me, it belongs to nobody other than you.
Lee  Sep 2020
Has been
Lee Sep 2020
I'm just a should have been
Could have been
Never was and never ever
Will be
I was just the friend
The neighbour
Overstepped my welcome
Drawn by purity
Defeated by love
A weakened heart
The broken mind
Drove me insane
Drove me away
Fully accepting
My poor decisions
My insensitive choice of words
My ignorance

The role of the bad guy

For you to live peacefully
For you to be happy
You awoke something dormant
Something powerful
Within me
As if your eyes were your key
Seemingly tailor made

I'll forever carry you in my heart
At my weakest you were my light

Teaching me
Moulding me
Releasing me

I can no longer think of you
My thoughts your torment

I leave you to be
As we weren't meant to be

I'm proud of you
To have called you my friend
My hearts first true love

The love you are to spread
His gift to the world

You are so bright
Brighter than you'd ever know
Bright enough to revive a darkened soul

Goodbye my Friend
Goodbye Anic

Thank you
For saving me

Now go forth
Spread love and healing
You're good at it

In God's name
I pray for you
I wish you the greatest
The most wonderful
The holiest
The most loyal and loving
You deserve nothing but the greatest
For you are and always will be

Goodbye Anic
Goodbye my Friend
Lee  Aug 2019
Deceased
Lee Aug 2019
I am the only one who can save me
Seemingly you were my only need
Here I am begging on my knees
Begging for my existence to cease
Hands shaking, knees weak
I haven't the heart so see you again Anic
I am but poison
Maybe a little frozen
A heart returning to stone
Prepping for a journey all alone
To me you were home
To you was I only cold to the bone
Now heartless in appearance
I seek only disappearance
Let the void consume me
Do not look for me
Let me
End me
Lee Oct 2019
I love you but have no right
The center of God's heart
You shine so bright
I am so sorry
This is the only way
So I must go away
I cannot help but drown
In you
You are all I ever wanted
More so
Everything I ever needed
Yet still so much more
I know I've hurt you
I cannot do it again
I'm doing this for you
You will flourish
This is all I want for you
Only so without me
Anic
Please take this as a blessing
You never needed me
Not the way I need you
I'm setting you free
Essentially
To Grace you your full potential
I cannot help but cry
As I reminess
The times I felt such love
The times I ******* up
With this poem
I free you of me
This is the end of me
The beginning for you
Please understand
I do this for you!
What Beads
What Pleasure abuses
And Genius breeds,
All Mortal accuses
And crushes and lifts

Through Crucibles passing
That Melting awakes:
All Messy is massing –
And taking Remakes!..

Remaking revolving,
Producers of “-Re’s”
In Series joking-
Ly value their Mess,

To make Messy-anic
That takes to reshape
In-forming Pre-panic
Enthroned in Jade...

Forbidden Construction
Of staggering Bans
Mis-usable Junctions
For Junk of all dense

By measure of Final
To that Mortal leads –
Eternal but Minor
Path narrow of Beads!..

— The End —