I felt empty. I didn’t know how to explain it either, I felt empty in the most hopeful way. My dancing skin cells all ached for you, and while I knew that sooner or later you would be in my arms, in that moment I still felt so empty without you.

It had been four hours since the blue, flowered tab dissolved under my tongue. The bitter taste of it was gone and I was left with a distorted world and the attention span of a goldfish.

I found myself in a park searching for you. I don’t remember how I got there. From the top of the slide I watched a filmstrip in the streetlight’s glare; two people were holding each other, they were dancing and smiling and laughing. I watched the patterns in the snow. I watched the tree branches grow and shrink, curling themselves like contortionists and I finally understood Dr. Seuss’s secret to writing his books. His worlds were not reality and this wasn’t either.

There was a person next to me. I don’t know when he got there. I knew him, but I might as well not have; he was just as much as a stranger as any.

“See that house over there?” I found myself saying, “Their sidewalk is moving. We should tell them their sidewalk is moving. They should call somebody about that.”

We burst into laughter.

In reality, their sidewalk was not moving. But this was not reality, and their sidewalk was turning over itself like it was ribbon instead of cement.

I got bored of the Truffula Trees. I parachuted down the slide to follow the footprints in the snow, footprints I was entirely sure were from the Star-Bellied Sneeches. They led me down street after street, I could not read the signs because of the flashing lights that overtook my vision.

I stopped in the middle of the street where the ground was a thick layer of ice. The stranger asked me how I was feeling, I replied with “I don’t even know where I am right now,” a saying not uncommon to come out of my mouth.

I couldn’t tell if it was five minutes or three hours later, but we were back at an apartment familiar to me. It was the stranger’s. You were still nowhere to be found, and the daydreams of your lips on my neck were driving me crazy. Even in this unreal world, I still remembered your taste and there was nothing I needed more.

For hours I watched the ceiling and the walls, silent. The world had been carved from crayons and somebody had a giant blowdryer to melt it all. I watched as the walls drip, drip, dripped onto the floor.

A light from somewhere else turned on and it was reflecting with the already glaring light.
“I feel like I’m inside of a CD,” I said to the stranger, trying to make him understand my Dr. Seuss world. “The lights are jumping everywhere, like the lights when you hold a CD in the sun. Do you hear the music too?”

With the empty feeling, the crayon walls and ceiling, and the jumping lights, I had to close my eyes. It felt so nice. I wanted reality back. I watched the kaleidoscope on the inside of my eyelids and tried to sleep.

I still wondered where you were. I wondered why anything would stop us from being together right now, why is there a force in the world that could willingly take my home away from me? Without you, I realized I am nothing more than cells escaping the body they form; I am not a being but rather a mind living in an alternate reality. In the Dr. Seuss world I float, in the real world I am anchored to you.

As I drifted off to sleep, hoping to wake up in the real world because I was sick of the patterns moving on inanimate objects, your words hung in my ear. “Goodnight my beautiful girl, I love you so.”

You are my home. I am empty, aimless, and unreal without you. I do not find comfort in Dr. Seuss’s worlds, nor do I find comfort in the real world.

When the world is made of melting crayon and my cells are bouncing out of their perimeters, you are real and you are refuge for the lost and drugged girl.

“Goodnight my beautiful girl, I love you so.” The words tasted so sweet I almost wanted to cry.

Your the one son being rebellious little darlings here comes
the sun drenching delicious but wait those cloudy days
watch out the hunters run ducking our heads like babies
wetting and water squirting beds getting too saucy
  ten O clock playpen the daring duck gourmet sauce
Orange you glad all her rich creme spread across
her penpals
Do you trust those gals too country slick on Newsweek

Getting paid he is the longest laid egg all grilled we are
not thrilled here is the "Chuckie Duckie" doll those *****
barbie collectors they are sitting duck Graphic Artist
Not one quack doll plastic surgeon duck lips she thinks
shes the hot stuff romantic "French" lips up the
"Eiffel Tower" splash splash she is out of cash
Those hot items presidential poll what a lost soul

Too much blue yes attention swan dancers Springtime
Not  the red attention yellow instead ****** please
I need a  journey not the "Attorney" such a ****** case
When you need them they always duck
When they have a new quack case they are ruining
my image
Duck tapesty Carol Kings youve got a friend

I'm feeling yellow homesick on your feather duck pillow
The same yellow tie a different atmosphere Go- Spa
She's flirting do you know where your going how is
life treating you he's giggling way too wild on her
goose chase
  Losing our grip down to her chicken bone hip
Duck season not much time for love being hunted

The Spa  la la ha have Merci' oh la la 'Disco Duck"
The wild ones the only ones quack- quack the
lonely ones
At the waterfront trip to "Chinatown" they let
them hang to dry but why Dad? They are better
like the delicacy shark finn soup we need a Spa
lucky green group Irish eyes are smiling stories
of ducks

I am  not buying do you see duck climb the
          "Eiffel Tower" yellow as a canary
All talk-talk is cheap lets talk French Mom walks
With her pretty duck handle umbrella we waddle
The penquin what a beauty swan feather pen
  But she's the"Prima Donna" look out!

The slingshot Marilyn Monroe wiggles out
                  The "Spa- Ma"
                 Don't  Scramble me darlings
                    Breakfast eggs cagefree
                     *          *          
My little chickadees organic brown on my gown
Spa duckies traveled the whole Atlantic town
The longest pond sleeping like "Rip Van Winkle"
twinkle twinkle
doublecrossed the street you get one dermerit
Sesame street Big bird how many words in duck
vocabulary quack- quack who get's the duck star

Mars from Men women go to the Spa like the bad
omen and they don't leave tap tap chop chop
I want it now!! Its now or never why does she always
get ugly duckling book delivered
Lazy goose she is the spoiled rotten egg how
do we love those  I apples
Carrots are for the eyes Mom always gets bird eyes

My little chickadees the Alaskan cute puppies
Big salute to the cutest duck feet "God Bless America"
  Visa  American Express Daffy Duck in Disney mess
the real picture "Mona Lisa" getting the duck
         Prime  chop minister
"Parliament Spa" prices so sinister
"Eat Duck and Pray" the  southern biscuits
more recruits

My cute rookies those duckier cookies another Spa day
So prim and proper teatime with "Queen deck"
  Alice in rabbit hole-Santa candycane poles cute chick
is homesick you better sent her money quick
The ducky bib the Chinese duck soup won ton
The feather fan she loves her Sushi roll Hollywood
Style California all duck drama
The best treatment duck made carpet

On the "Disney Hollywood" deck "Epcot"
On the futon what diction for a duck "My Fair lady"
Got the whole fortunes bed
The duck on the hill what a fool but the monk
Is the whole spiritual existence
The peacock's longest wait for lobster tails
centerpieces red bird Robin fly Robin Fly

Disco ball fancy tails she ended up up up to the sky
Her duck sunglasses a dozen ***** spin's the disco
The Duck Pop singer wants him back
High price or a short mack duck shooter attack
Food for thought homesick all saucy duck tie waiter
Cinderella rags to ducklings I went to "Woodstock"
Imagine me the teenager chick the duck split

Fill wing concert sky made a hit
The blues love is strange chick-lets are yellow
Like clock work what a duck work out orange          
        Duck handle umbrella               
 Duckies I pledge to you College Preppies
The chick feeder Ain't nothing but a hound dog
      Elvis heart breaker bird-brain feeder

  Moms duck sugar cookies
******* Jack one prize quack quack
 Huckleberry Finn paper boat old billy goat
  In the drowned mans eye holy ducks he delivered
I will blow you down duck horn the day you
were born
Having a third eye one duck Wendy 4 for a 4

Notre Dame church tragic but saved
   The  Easter yellow chicks
To Rome lend me your feathers no secret ears
Sticky Fingers she lost her writing finger in the
pond  OH! look whats beyond so kind
With her duckling apron dress he ducked
The chatty cat "City Dr Seuss"

Wearing duck boots those duck lips played her
like the fancy feast
The teachers pet the ducklings cute darlings
Spa cream she quite the flabber belly dancer
The ballet swan achiever "Spa One Day tripper"
The ugly duckling changed to beauty witch
Holy-land or duck pond Mickey's ears
                   Disneyland

Stand up daffy duck comedian Las Vegas
Godiva Peking duck soup flapping swishing
mess
The Big Ben red whose been sleeping in my
duck wing bed
The car stops he hiccups cute bebops
The guardian angel quack quack any luck
Yummy raspberry pie someone delivered

Christmas Scrooge all tears
New York lights camera I love my
        Serendipity chandeliers
Those duck tear drops last stop
Or you die__your still quacking
       Just in time said I
           Fly Robin Fly

     Saved my baby chick lovely
     Cradled her to love her
          Dr Seuss read