If you accidentally
             fall out of love,
Do you just dive
                back in head first?
           Feet first??
                     Eyes closed???
        Cannon ball????
             Or
Do you walk away
       Cause you can't swim
And you're scared to death
                   of *drowning?????

His voice eases my skin, fingers shadow
Inch, inch, inching, how much? Elephant eyes
Hidden behind hair, scattered strewn fabric.
Tangled mess of limbs, nothing outlasts weather.

You’re not my last and you’re not my first.
So don’t call don’t text don’t be what you think you need to be
I don’t know if it’s you or me but it might as well be you because I don’t feel so hot

I’m here and only your body is
I urge to illicit the utmost joy your hands itch at the thought
of touching me.

my heart hurts and I don’t have the                                                       up
why
                                                                                                    up
                  up       up           up           up             up         up
It’s simply      down    down    down    downdowndown
                                                                    down
                                                                         down
                                                                               down
                                                                                     down
                                                                                          down
                                                                                              down
                                                                                                  down
                                                                                                       down
                                                                                                           d(own)
                                                                                                                down            
                                                                                                                       down
                                                                                                                           down
                                                                                                                               down
                                                                                                                                  down
                                                                                                                                   down

I feel so sick when I think of her.
A sickly sweet illness fills my veins
And this creature inside of me feeds on herself
Turning
Turning
Turning herself inside out
Trying to reach out
Trying to get away.

Not knowing
What you want
Who you are
Who inhabits your body
Is a terrible
Sickening thing.

This creature living within me
Growing as I grow
Screaming as she pleases
Is so loud sometimes
"Drink drink drink up silly girl. What's it matter silly girl. Nothing changes silly girl. All the same all the same drinkdrinkdrink."
Sickly sweet as she tugs at me
Pulls my heart down to my feet
Crushing it with
Every
Passing
Glance
"Thinking of you they're thinking of you bad bad things they're thinking of you"

Sickly sweet as she pulls my puppet strings down down down
Hands in pockets
Eyes into sockets
Head down
Shoulders down
Feeling down
downdowndown.

She throws me to the floor in tears
And tosses me on the bed in repentance.
"So sorry silly girl so pathetic so pathetic"

I can't leave her.
I can't get away.
This woman inside of me
Sickly sweet.