Oh disappointment dad, how you haven't changed.
You are still guttless and horribly deranged.
Faces have aged and we are all wise.
Disappointment dad, you cram yourself with empty lies.

Oh disappointment dad, you claim to work so hard.
Forgetting the world, you say you have becomed scarred.
But the ones who are scarred are the ones cleaning your mess.
Selfish and blind, your words of woe fill us with protest.

Oh disappointment dad, can't you listen to the world.
Your life is ever so more becoming twirled
I can leave through the door at any moment, and wouldn't care.
Oh disappointment, why don't you show me you still have a pair.

Excuses will only get you so far disappointment dad,
And truthfully less I see you, it makes me glad
Maybe one day you won't forget about me,
Maybe one day you'll chnage and be free.

However realism is my gifted teacher
And it has taught me about people like you; the preacher.
I can accept you'll always be singleminded
But Disappointment Dad; I refuse become blinded.

Space to make change an indelible part of life

Encourage the stagnant side to enliven its speech
Flourishes of energy folding in on one another
Pecking, their beaks marking time with biting tongues
Sqeamish reminders of circus clowns vying for laughs
Staring eyes and red painted smiles freakishly scaring
The innocent rosy cheeked wondrous audience
Clapping the skin from their fingers while querelous
Adults sit bored hoping to borrow a new time zone
Spot checking the interest of those encroaching their space

Space to make change an indelible part of life

To fool the viewer of the showcased goods before their
Sell by date, when holding onto stagnation pales the hand of change
Quell the nausea that preludes sickness leaving that vile taste
Rancour alongside a grinning mass of stained teeth borrows
Sweating it out with flailing words of ignorant abandonment
Scorching hot tears racing one another, dripping from lowered
Eyelashes, coaxing the seeping colour coated debris to release
To wash away the dirt, leaving streaks of diluted aftermath

Space to make chnage an indelible part of life

The time is now
A chnage is need
My heart is bleeding
Where is the path
My mask so broken
I fallen but keep getting back up
i want be better
i want see the sun threw the dark clouds
I can't  give up
I been threw too much
A man alone on his path lost  but still looking for change.

You think I am strong
because I have survived.
Survived abuse, ****, neglect, and lack of love.
You think I have thrived.

But you weren’t there
when I finally broke.
You weren’t there when I screamed
You weren’t there when I choked.

I did give up.
I ate that bottle.
But the people around me
Ripped my hand off of the throttle.

I haven’t moved on
But I think I choose to stand still
Not because I don’t want my future
But more darkness will come
And that one might **** me

I cry alone in my living room
Talking to someone that isn’t there
Not because I’m crazy
But because losing my sanity is near.

Death does not scare me.
Not anymore.
Living scares me most
Letting people in while my heart is still torn.

Stuck in my victim status.
That’s what my mother calls it.
Little does she know
A year isn’t long enough to heal ****.

I wish I had a normal life
But no my just keeps *******
So I guess I’ll continue my destructive ways
Smoking, drinking, speeding, *******.

Love doesn’t hurt right
Then what the **** is happening
Nobody ever broke me
While screaming that they loathe me.
When does the pain start capping?

Does anyone have the answer?
Cause I sure ******* don’t
I’m tired of typing my feelings
Cause you think I’ll finally “cope”

One day I’ll chnage my life
One day I’ll make it big.
I’ll scream my story from the roof
And you just have to ******* sit.
And listen.

My PTSD
It reminds me everyday that I am changed
It injects the memories into my veins
Telling me to remember
Because I deserve the pain

This is who you are now.. it says..
You can’t chnage who you are
You can’t have fun anymore
Who can’t go to the bars

Not like you used to.
When a guy tries to come up to you
You will instantly think of the boy
Who destroyed you.

Because his name is branded on you like cattle
You got to therapy
You try to heal
But there is no winning this battle.

Sleep? You don’t get to sleep
You will see him in your dreams
And he will touch you with his fingers of blades
And I will force you to lay there while you scream.

Please stop.

He didn’t listen the first time
I won’t let you forget
It will play over and over
Like a song that won’t get out of your head

You want to go to the store? Fine.
But my PTSD makes me see his face
In every man. In every cashier
And In every single place.

You cannot forget me.. it says..
This is who you are.
There is no treatment or help from the scars that he placed on you.

Don’t be fooled.

I’ll let you think you’re getting better
But every time you hear a voice
You will think it’s him coming to claim
You. You were his victim of choice.

You were chosen.
Count yourself lucky.
What were you wearing?
That sound kinda slutty.

Well did you flirt with him?
You were askin for it.
Oh you were drinking?
*** you’re a *****.

You should be ashamed.
You deserved this after all.
Boys will be boys!
Now sit there. Stand tall.

And keep your ******* mouth shut.