The hardest part of a breakup is not the breakup.
It's the aftermath of it
The hurting you feel won't ever go away, the broken heart you think will never heal or the loneliness of losing your best friend
The hardest part is feeling small and insignificant to everyone around you
But despite this all, as you want to shrink from the world you believe to hate you
A small thing comes up to and sits in your lap as tears are coming out of your eyes for a week straight
It looks at you until you stop crying
You start to feel a peace coming to you
Because out of the hurt, loneliness and pain, hope remains
Hope remains and that means the healing can begin

The mess of breakups is
Despite how hurt she is
He is to
They both show it in different ways

But both are heartbroken
Both are lost without each other
They both lost their bestfriend
Both are miserable
Each deal with it differently
Friends and family helping

But for him demons came knocking
Seeing everything as lost he let them in

People only see the outside of you
They don’t see the demons swirling around
Underneath the thin surface separating the two
People scoff at the idea of me having them
“You couldn’t possibly have any, you are
To sweet!”

But alas that is a bitter thought as they walk
Away. Multiple demons haunt me and live
Inside me, some stay their thirst on terrible
Whiskey and burning ***. Others breathe
Thought the smoke that fills the lungs. Another
Feeds on the negative emotions and destructive
Thought I have about myself. But the last of them
Lives by spitting tobacco and leading the others

I have demons just like anyone else, I just hide
Them better than others. The demons though
Have a terrible hold and grip on me. I can’t escape
Them but I got to the point that I’m accepting them
Now. But who’s really in charge now, me or those
Demons?

Innocence is one of the strongest things
Especially when it’s with a small child
That innocence of looking at the world
And seeing the good, the beauty, the love
There are times when I still wish I had this
Not because I grew up, no nothing like that
I had my innocence destroyed when I was small
I was introduced to the harsh reality of what life
Really is, not that beautiful place filled with love
But a terrible place filled with misery, hate and violence
So I grew up looking more harshly at things, looking
For the faults, looking for the hate behind everything
The innocence makes you think the world is only
Filled with sheep, but the harsh reality is that there
Are terrible wolves filled with evil bloodlust to destroy
The very innocence we have
I looked for the sheep and soon realized that the wolves are
Everywhere. But little I could do right now about it
All I can do is try to protect the innocence because
That’s one of the strongest things in life
And as I look down at her face with her huge carefree
Smile back at me all I can think is that innocence is
Blissful to have. But there’s another thought as I look
At her, is what if she has it destroyed like me? Because
The one thing stronger than innocence is
The destruction that leads to the driving force to become
Stronger than the evil wolves and to protect the sheep

People are easy to remember throughout
The years, they always stick out for some
Reason in your mind and never let go
I remember my best friend yelling down
The hall to each other and getting yelled at
By a teacher, I remember the first girl I kissed
I was standing there so awkwardly
I remember one of the my closest friends
Style never out of whack, always fashionable
Or another one who’s ok with jeans and a flannel
I remember the first girl I loved giving her obnoxious
Nicknames throughout the years for no reason
I remember my friend who stuck by me who’s been
There since day one in that English class where she
Shouldn’t have even been. I remember seeing my
Crush at college wearing that outfit stealing the show
I remember people clear throughout the years
But do they remember me at all? What do they see?
Do they see the kid bumming it to class every day?
Or that kid wearing crisp ACUs posture straight eyes
Ready, knowing the importance of what he’s wearing
Or do they see that kid beating out a fast pace on the
Road pushing himself past the breaking point to be
The best. Do they see that kid at the party outfit picked
Out by someone else to not look like a mess. Do they see
Me sitting by a fire, cold drink in my hand, shadows
Playing across my face like the demons hiding behind
Those dark brown eyes
Do they remember me? DO it stand out in their minds?
Or did I fade into existence Right after I left theirs and
Moved on?

Nowadays the love songs don’t focus on love
Only thing the songs are expressing is ***
And taking the girl back to your house above
All else and then have her leave if the next
Logical point in the song
Everyone jams out to these signing along
Saying these are the next big thing to hit
The radio making the guy be the strong,
Macho type and the damsel throwing a fit
Because of his attitude and complaining
About how love should be and not this
“Why can’t you be like an old song?” feigning
Anger to play hard to get on him but it’s just a diss
She’s laying on him
This is the usual nowadays except for the rare
Few who were raised on the classics actually
Falling in love with her instead of a hit and
Quick and a see ya around but is factually
Never happening again, looking for the band
That sung that sweet melody that touched the
Soul
Now this isn’t me saying I’m a classic Romeo
No not at all babe, I’m just trying to say
I’m looking to make her fall in love
And find a happy ever after in this
World that killed the love songs

This one is for the love ones miles away
Friends trying to become more
Memories fading from the mind
Dreams long forgotten from the past
Goals right out of reach, messes made
Adventures ruined, nights not remembered
This one is to not give up or forget on what
made you what you are

People talk about the strength of love
How nothing can beat it, in stories love
Is how the hero wins the day, saves the
Girl. People talk about how love heals
Or how madly there in love in someone
There is strength in love, I know about it
My love isn’t with a loved one though

My love is with a an adorable four year old
Who loves teenage mutant ninja turtles (Donatello
To be precise) who when I went to her birthday
Party she didn’t say hi at first
But a simple moment of watching cartoons
Made the love bloom

At first I was none the wiser, the party went
On everyone left save a few, we heard “hey
She’ll go to bed if you cuddle and watch” so
Her mom left but quickly came out again
“She wants you” and quick as that a love
Began with a lovable little blondie sitting
In my lap passed out

Now when push comes to shove and I feel
Like I’m breaking, I think about that moment
I’m not giving up I tell myself, I push myself
Off and dust the dirt off
They saying nothing is stronger than love
And it’s true, but when you have
The strength of a little girl driving
You, you become down right
Invincible

I was amiss stranded in a hurricane of my feelings
Trying to figure out which way to land without
A lighthouse to guide me, trying to conceal
The fact I was slowly sinking throughout
That long hot summer
But you were there I heard that blissful
Music that slowly guided me it had my what
Was left of my heart back together and making
It whole again
We talked on and on had amazing memories
First person texted in the morning, last one
At night
I was slowly repairing the hurt, fixing me and
My broken heart, having a little more faith
In the world that before.
But it wasn’t that
You guided my ship but not to land but to the
Jagged rocks that was your home
That sweet music was just your siren song
Pulling in misguided sailors into the trap
You laid
I was almost as struck, no idea how to get
Out of the mess that you put me in but
I have amazing friends that never left me
They stayed by my side when no one else
Would and like Odysseus my friends bounded
Me and guided me through the sirens song
To finish my journey

The puppet master sits in the background
He looks just like me or you or anyone at all
But more goes on in his head that cannot be
Seen, he begins to silently pull strings, unknown
To anyone but himself, He pulls the strings but
Also lays a web to catch the unbeknownst like
A deadly spider in the shadows, carefully he begins
A dastardly plan laying down the webs, strings and
Grinning At what is to come, people talk to him never
Seeing what goes on in his head it’s almost ready he
Thinks, he watches carefully from the background
Smiling as everyone falls into place,
He pulls the strings to the puppets who move along thinking
It’s their own choices but the puppet master in is charge

Were both the same
Competitive to the death
The most stubborn around
Extremely caring, a hidden
Sense to help others
A mystical ability to always
Be there for people at the
Moment they need it

We’ve been friends and
Like most friends argue
Like no tomorrow, but
Were mirrored halves
Saying were nothing
Alike but almost the
Same person on the
Inside

Mirrored halves, they
Reflect the same and
Sometimes look the same
But arnt always the right
Thing, people say your
Suppose to find your
Other half….

But does a mirrored half
Of you the same do the same
As the other half?

I’m standing here holding
The note you gave me
Telling me to read it in
Secret, spilling out your
Feelings to me, about our
Past our present even our
Future
But a short couple weeks later
The future dissolved, never to
Happen, now I’m walking rereading
The last couple lines, staring into
The page even though I have it
Memorized
I finally stop, holding the note
Looking at the last bit of memories
As I pull out the old lighter from
My pocket. As I flick it on having the
Small flame poke out, I put it against
The paper watching the note catch
On fire. I watch it as slowly inch by
Inch the note turns to ash
I look up at the sky looking back
At everything that’s happened,
Maybe now the heart that was
Shattered can slowly start healing
And maybe after all this time I can
Move on

We each knew our love for each
Other, There were roller-coaster events
That seemed to always push us
Even more apart, we tried to
Fight it, getting around it and
To still make it work..
You told me this time were done
Nothing is getting in our way were
Making this work no matter what!
This was on the romantic day of the
Year and made me fall even more
For you knowing you were going
To be my lighthouse in the storm
A guided light of love that can get
Me through any terrible situation
Life could through
But just as quickly my lighthouse
Fell apart, you told me its done
I've changed, i'm not the same
I was lost in the sea with a hurricane
Hitting and realizing I had no shining
Light to guide me..
What could two weeks make?
Can you really change in that
Amount of time?
Don't ask me I'm just a ship
Wrecked sailor looking for a
New lighthouse.

People come into your life as
Quickly as they come, never
Staying for long there are
Cases where they do stay,
Your closest friends, your
Best friends, your loved
Ones
But others just disappear and
Leave completely, dropping out
Of your life never talking to you
Again, lost connections of how
You became friends, the shared
Stories, secrets, good times
And memories. All you have now
Is seeing random Facebook
Statuses of you with new
Friends or Instagram selfies
With tons of new people
Do you remember us being
Friends?
If I sent a text, a message
Anything would you answer?
Would you talk to me again?
If I done wrong can I right it?
Can we be friends again?
Or am I just a random Facebook
Status popping on your newsfeed
And nothing else

He’s sitting there, Beats on music bumping
Losing himself in the rhythm letting the flow
Psych him up, his coach walks over and yells
At him GET YOUR *** OUT THERE. He takes
Off his headphones the final beat bringing
Back a memory

He was sitting there, the coach told him to
Take the bench, the other starter was out
There, where he should be. Gym class picked
Last again told he ***** no one wants him.
He’s tired of not being good enough he vows
To never let it happen again. And so he dedicates
Himself, pushing, driving, putting in the work
Needed to be a star, almost giving up
He never did

The ref looks at him and tells him to step up.
He steps up to the mat, he skates to the line,
He breaks from the huddle, toes the invisible
Line, steps up to the plate, steps  Up next to his
teammate, steps up to the foul Line
The whistle blows

He shoots for the legs, he passes the puck
He throws the spiral, he throws his hands up
He swings his bat, passes the ball, takes the
Shot…..
He pins him in 30 secs and wins the championship,
He puts the puck in the back of the net for
The win, He throws another touchdown
Pass, He pulls down the most amazing catch
He crushes the ball for a homerun,
He kicks the ball into the net, he swishes
The ball, nothing but net

They call him the legend, champion
The monster, invincible, hall of famer
They ask how he done it?
He never gave up on that vow and he
Step up

A family of sheep live in harmony, all from different areas
Different ages and different ideas. They all came together
United in a friendship, strong enough to be called a family
But there are wolves out there…. Terrible creatures that
Want nothing more to attack the sheep. They once might
Of been sheep, but something dark and twisted shaped them
Into the creatures they are now. They stalk, coming closer to
The family, moving in to destroy the harmony they live in
But as they come close they feel a presence pushing at them
Something protecting the sheep, something dark as them, sending
Shivers down the wolves spines, something terrible enough
To scare the mighty wolves

A mighty bear, massive in size, vast bigger than the wolves
The bear has strong curved claws ready to attack any that
Approach. Its speed is also a deadly trait the bear possesses
Able to out run any evil coming at him. The bear also has a
A super amazing sense of smell, able to smell the stench from
Miles away.
The bear perks up, catching the smell of a creature that doesn’t
Belong…

The other creature is the sheepdog. Though not as big as the
Bear the sheepdog has a presence that scares the wolves.
The sheepdog has fangs as long as the wolves and attacks
Just as ferocious as the wolves. While the bear knows when
Violence can be avoided by scaring the wolves away, the
Sheepdog does not know this, he jumps at the violence
Instead, taking the impulse to attack and destroy, marking
Him close to the wolves.

The bear circles to the sheepdog and together they move to
The wolves, ready to protect the family behind them
The wolves leave, scattering to avoid them, facing away
From the ever presence

I remember the first time you Said we will be best friends
I scoffed at the idea me? Having a best friend? No
But you showed that you were I told you my darkest secret
Thinking you would bail after Hearing the awful story….But
No you stayed by my side Sticking to the idea that you
Will be my best friend. You have been there at my good
The bad, and the downward Spiral. You were my lighthouse
In the mist of the storm giving me hope to see the land

Those days where we went mini golfing and me making
Fun of the way you played and beat you on the last hole
Sinking the ball in a hole in one and winning free ice cream
The days when I invaded your study hall, lunch table, locker
Just for a laugh and to see you to do our signature pose
When we went to prom and had a super great time dancing
Picture taking and making memories that stick like paper to glue

I’m hours away, miles apart but I know you will be there no
Matter what. You’re the single most blessed thing to ever
Happen to me. Every night I look at our goofball picture
From homecoming and look at how great high school
Was, but now I’m in college. You are my Un-typical spirited
silly cheerful white girl and  many things have changed but
One thing will never change in my life and I know it
I love my best friend.

Do you ever wonder what we were?
Wonder about the first time we realized
Our feelings, or the first time
We kissed...
Do you think about the times we spent?
Think about the times we laid watching
TV on the couch pressed together like
A sculptor shaping clay into a masterpiece
Or the stupid Nicknames given to tease
You but made me fall deeper in love
Do you dream about the amazing memories?
Going to prom in that beautiful dress, or the
Dates where we stayed in and never left
Do you hold it over me for leaving?
Hate me for the fact I left for a college
So far from you, and saying I don’t want
To hurt you...
Do you recall these memories?
Or did you throw them away and
Steal my heart in the process?
Leaving me with no heart, swirling
Emotions, no sense of direction
And only a handful of heartfelt
Memories

Demons hide in many forms they hide, masking as friends,
Choosing targets, settling on me, wrapping me up in their plans.
Leading me astray, down a path of destruction
And just as quick they vanished Leaving me alone letting
The world take punches trying to get a KO punch
Knocking me down until I’m on my knees ready to
Give in

But God saw something in me be it pity, faith, hope, resilience
I don’t know but he sent down into my life A Trio of Angels
They saved me and banished the demons and gave me
Hope I was lifted out from the hole was given strength to
Get back out and battle back for my life. I feared no evil
Or demons, ready to fight back and accomplish and to
Never quit

Most people are blessed to see an angel in their lives
Once. An angel that got them back on track. I was blessed
With a Trio of Angels they work in magical ways
Always knowing how to fix the problems I’m dealing with
Knowing how to save my soul before it was gone
My life took a U-turn from where it was because of
A Trio of Angels

I don't remember how we started talking
I don't remember becoming friends
I don't remember when I started using
Stupid words that I would never use
I don't remember how it started
I don’t remember when that smile got me
I don't remember falling in love
I don’t remember
I remember talking about the boys you
Chased
I remember holding you as the same
Boys made you cry
I remember coming over just to ******* life
I remember doing anything to make you smile
I remember watching us break apart
I remember you finding him
I remember falling in a hole
I remember the pain seeing you with him
I remember wishing it was me
I remember