I smell like cigarettes
and a really bad week.
Between barely passed midterms
and a ****** twin sized mattress,
Advil PM tastes better in the morning.

My eyelids are the heaviest things I've held.

What do you do when the voices start to agree?

That burn on my leg.
Was it an accident?
Or a scar of my sins?
A scarlet letter
of my wrongdoings

My head is heavy now
very cloudy and dim
Surrounded by thoughts of the past

Every now and again
I stop and I think
about trivial things that inhibit my sleep

What good has been done?
And why should I care?
These splinters cut deep
from this cross that I bear.

The last piece of a puzzle
that just won't fit.
Or a paper cut covered in salt

It's not inherently bad
but it does it make it tough
to simply get up in the morning.

I wish you were nicer, for both of our sakes.
You're impossible to deal with,
so I'd frankly rather not.
Yet something about this
just keeps pulling me back.

I can say I don't love you
at least not anymore.
So why is it so hard,
to have a simple conversation?

I didn't ask for the world,
I just wanted to come along for the ride.
I'm not asking for a dictionary,
just what you have to say.

I can't comprehend
your apprehension.
Considering all that we've been through,
and you can't
be ******* nice.

I thought we'd make a lovely mess.
You thought that's all I'd be.
I'm on sinking ship,
with no way off,
and it's getting hard to breathe.

I can't believe how huge a fool
I was to even think,
I had a chance
with you, my dear,
and now I'm at my brink.

It strikes me strange
how even though
I never pressed it at all,
you stayed until the very end,
was it just to watch me fall?

"So what. Whatever. ***** the lot.
It all ends up the same",
I lie and rasp
for we both know
it stings to hear your name.

So sickeningly bitter you can't speak your lover's name.