I don't have any rights to you.
Your mind, your body, your soul.
But I want them all

I want to write your name 4000 times over and over again throughout the day without feeling as if I have committed a sin.
Simply because you'd  be  mine.

You're like a 3rd degree burn, scorched across my battered heart.
And I'm afraid only your arms can act as a healing balm.

You'll be pestered with letters.
Partly because I like to look at your name in my messy handwriting but mostly because if I don't - I'd go crazy without saying half the things I'd try to say in person.

Sometimes I'll stare at you and wonder how on earth I ever managed to acquire such a beautiful creature.
And I'll wonder how long you'll take to realise you could do so much better.

I'll write you poetry,so many pieces.
Describing your eyes and your hands.
I'll write sonnets to the freckle on the right side of your neck.

I'll make you listen to songs that remind me of you & believe me there are many.
I'll write the lyrics on my hands hoping you'll be intrigued to search for answers.

I like code names, ridiculous ones.
So you'll get a few of those too.
I watch tons of movies, I'll do it while I lay my head on your chest.
I laugh at the most inappropriate times.

If public displays of affection embarass you - I'll embarass you everywhere we go.

You should know I'm over-emotional & extremely jealous. I get paranoid and I worry a lot too.

You'll be mine & I'll be yours.
You'll mean the world to me because I don't have anyone else.

I saw it,
I saw it all.

I saw how you would ask me,
Clear eyes cast down, glancing at the ground.
Your soft voice stammering, mumbling about things completely irrelevant to what you were trying to ask.
How your hands would tremble, then suddenly grasp mine.
How you would look up with conviction and stare into my eyes.
Look deep within and ask :
Will you be mine?

I didn't think about how I would reply - I'd imagined it countless times.
I've always been yours.

I saw how we would waste time together.
Your head on my lap, my fingers running through your brown hair.
Talking about silly things like my love of poetry and your hatred of books.

I saw you falling asleep
as I read you poetry.
I saw how my eyes would glaze over as you spoke animatedly about the engines of cars and bikes.

Saw how you would roll your eyes when you finally realised
I just wasn't listening anymore

I saw our intertwined hands and how they gripped each other tightly as if we were afraid we'd let go and lose each other.

I saw the first kiss, how my knees turned to water as your hands encircled my waist.
Your sharp intake of breath as my hand touched your cheek, how you closed your eyes and let your head fall back slightly.

How everything dissipated as my lips reached yours.
I swear I even experienced the hunger, the desire, the greed, the need for more.

I even saw how safe I would feel if I had you by my side.
I saw how I was made of metal and you of magnet.
How my pieces would drag across the earth to rejoin whenever you held me close.

I even heard the first i love you how you whispered my name as my eyes read sonnets in yours.

I see many things.
Just not many that are real.

i  base  my  worth
off of how my friends
treat  me,  how  many
beers i can drink before
the taste makes me sick,
and how many times i can
dial your old phone number
and listen to a stranger
remind me of how
disconnected
you are.