ks - Hello Poetry

ks Apr 2016

feelings

i wish i were dead.

ks Mar 2016

Untitled

they talk to me,
think i'm listening.
but really, i am swallowing
words of self-hatred.

my heart beats but
there is no sound.
my pulse is felt,
but no life.

when i look in
the mirror,
i see a lot of things,
but none of them are me.

i am trapped inside
my own body,
i yearn to get out.

people think i am
breathing, but no,
i choke.

ks Feb 2016

cage

if you stripped naked my soul,
you'll find her,
running through my veins,
like my blood, a part of me.

my tongue can't get
those words out,
i can't tell you how
crazy i am in love.

my heart,
it breaks
every single time she
talks about her.

the glitter in her eyes
at the mention of her name,
i wished that shine
belonged to me.

but it doesn't.

there is no remedy
for the madness
i bestow,
they can chain me up
but there is no point.

because it's my heart that needs caging.

Jan 2016

eunoia

New Years Eve

60, 59,
the countdown has begun;
55, 54,
2015 was anything but fun.
50, 49,
alone on New Years Eve, as usual;
45, 44,
my desire to be loved; immovable.
40, 39,
i've had countless brushes with death
35, 34,
and it's like feelings of nostalgia are ****** in with every breath.
30, 29,
no family present on this miserable day,
25, 24,
all alone; make way as the unloved fade away.
20, 19,
i hope next year will be better;
15, 14,
that is, if i last until then.
10, 9,
i suppose it's crazy that in a few seconds,
something 365 days long,
will be over
5, 4,
oh please don't let this be the end...
3,
2,
1,
...
i am alive.
*happy new year

Since no one was there for me on this New Years Eve, I decided to get my laptop and type down every thought that crossed my mind during the countdown, then turned those thoughts into a poem.
Happy New Years, and I hope everyone has a wonderful 2016.

#sad #lonely #death #depressed #alone #happy #year #countdown #2016

ks Jan 2016

new year

regrets
satisfaction
leave it all behind.

madness
sanity
leave it all behind.

sadness
happiness
leave it all behind.

in your book of life
this year,
begin page 1 of 366,
not with a comma
or with a full stop.

but with a question mark,
preparing yourself
for what is to come.
beauty in nightmares
or nightmares in beauty.

ks Dec 2015

best friend

sometimes it engulfed me,
sometimes I lost myself,
but it was my best friend.

sometimes I looked in the mirror,
and it was all I saw,
I wished to sleep in comfort,
but I could never escape its claws.

it followed me when I was happy
it was my shadow when I was sad,
sometimes it hurt me,
but seldom was I mad.
all I dreamt of now
was me at the end of a gun.

but maybe it wasn't a dream,
maybe it was all real,
because I felt dead inside,
not knowing how to feel.

I loved it, my best friend,
with all I could feel,
my blood dripped for it,
but it could never love me.

ks Dec 2015

triumph

I have felt butterflies in my stomach,
I have found it hard to get my words out,
I have blushed at the smile your red lips flashed.
I have seen you when I gaze into the night sky,
formed constellations with your words.

I've always dreamed of what it'd be like
to love one another, seeing no flaws,
to feel electric every time we touched.

I've always dreamed of seeing the day,
when we stand together,
hand in hand in my balcony,
and you say what an amazing view.
and I look at you and say,
what an amazing view
not just think to myself,
like I usually do.

I've always dreamed of seeing the day,
when I can love you,
and you, I,
without being given ***** looks.

for love is not measured by gender,
a girl can love a girl,
a boy can love a boy.
I always have and will continue to dream
of seeing the day when
love truly triumphs.