you boarded my ship when it was sinking so fast
i was so very certain you'd drown with it.
time passes
and i find my vessel mended more and more each day

i've been taught most of my life
to fear stability;
for it seemed as if instability, however dangerous
was more desirable that fleeting stability

but now that i find the earthquakes have begun
to decrease in intensity
ever so slowly

i am still left to ask
is this forever?
have i found that which i've been longing for ages to find?

it terrifies me so, but fills me with what i can only surmise is that which i dreamt about as a child

security. home. a chance at peace.

i wake from sleep, to remember dreams of our adventures
i wake from sleep, to be for, if only once, hopeful about the future
i wake from sleep, to know that i find solace in another
i wake from sleep, to that i am loved, as much as i love

i wake from sleep, to know that one day, when the storms have subsided, you will be there, holding my hand, as I walk up the final hill of my lifelong struggle.

when you care too much it breaks you, shatters you into a billion tiny pieces like glass, you hit the floor too hard too fast and you explode, the world, millions of sparkling fragments come crashing down around you, slicing you to ribbons because thats what glass does, it cuts, and if you thought that just because you cared you were bullet proof you thought wrong, glass is never bullet proof, not even the kind that comes with a label and says it is, its a lie, its always a lie because when you care too much, try too hard, try so hard it hurts, you fall too hard, too fast, its too much and you shatter like previously bullet proof glass, you are out of the game and done playing the game because it doesn’t matter anymore, nothing matters anymore, its all one loop over and over and over, live die, repeat, live, die, repeat and oh if only you could reach the end, what satisfaction you would glean, what dreams might you escape, what people you might outrun, glass is exactly like humans, it reflects exactly who we are eventually no matter how much you warp it, no matter how much you bend its surface it reflects the true self back and then when you suddenly decide to show that side, boom, there I go, falling too fast too hard too much not slowing never slowing too much too fast too hard too caring too trying too much too fast too hard falling is like dying except slower, much much slower, and when I land, don’t worry you’ll be the first to know